Twilightme

Transition: What's next after high school?

2011-12-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

Two of my grandsons, the eldest two, are about to graduate from high school. Their parents are thinking about what the next steps will be for these boys, and I suspect the boys might be giving it some thought too. I like my position as grandmother, one who has a little distance from the momentous step these boys are about to take.

I do have some pretty strong opinions about the transition from high school to young adulthood. My ideas are based on watching my own 3 children make the transition and also come from witnessing the children of friends and family as well as hundreds of young people at Columbia College take this step.

I think kids need to embark on a growth inducing activity immediately after high school, in particular one that throws them out of their comfort zone into an environment that challenges them. The degree of challenge depends on the kid, but it should definitely push their edges, make them feel uncomfortable and confused and ultimately provide the space and support to develop effective decision making skills. In most cases, this involves moving to a new setting away from the home and family in which the child was raised.

Here are some of the things I've seen accomplish this transition effectively:

going to a foreign country either as a student, a missionary, or a traveler,
going into the military,
doing service work, e.g. working in inner city schools or conversely wilderness areas, assisting in a disaster or poverty torn area, Ameri-Corps, California Conservation Corps, or other service directed group,
getting a full time job,
moving into an apartment or dormitory with roommates,
getting married.

Notice that I don't include going to college in this list. While attending college might be part of any of these, the school experience is not fresh enough to give kids the PUSH they need at this time. There has to be an element of challenge and discomfort that comes from moving to a unique setting where they have to think and decide.

I recognize that the discomfort also hits the parents because they have to watch with a certain amount of hands off approach. It can be an incredibly scary time. At best, they have to offer moral support and maybe a little financial assistance, but the trick is getting out of the kid's way and letting him or her muddle through. In most cases, this takes about a year for something fairly dramatic to take place

Of course, there are a few for whom it will take many years because of developmental and or psychological differences, and there are many parents who stymie their kids by being too intrusive or directive which makes the passage take longer. And yes, there are kids who go wildly astray, driven by incomprehensible forces both internal and external. But a large majority of the kids I've watched make their way with only a few tumbles, scrapes, and bruises.

I don't think the "what" is as important as the "how." That's not to diminish the intensity of what parents feel as they try to guide an offspring toward the setting that will accomplish the most effective transition. There are probably several possibilities, but once launched, the work is to breathe while the young person learns to swim into adulthood.

It's as exciting and disconcerting as any other stage of parenting.

Yoga & Metaphor

2011-08-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, I went to a wonderful Yoga workshop by Rocky Heron, called "Journey into Bliss." The workshop focused on back bending poses which Rocky wanted us to look at as heart opening postures.

I've always been intrigued by the body/mind connection that is intrinsic to yoga, so I particularly like teachers who help me see how a pose is connected to the way that I think and/or hold my body. For instance, Rocky spoke about how much of our day is spent slouched forward with our shoulders curved so the chest cavity encircles our hearts. To bend backward is to open and expose the chest area and therefore the heart. Metaphorically the heart is the seat of emotional experience, so opening that area is to make ourselves vulnerable to feeling.

Back bends are my least favorite pose while I adore forward bends. It probably comes as no surprise then that I'm also much more comfortable with thought than I am with feeling. But I knew what the workshop was about, and I was willing-- in fact eager-- to expand my chest along with my interest and skill in these poses.

Rocky is a very fine teacher, moving the class gradually and expertly into deeper more expansive chest opening postures. I was really enjoying myself, and about 2/3 of the way through the class, I experienced one of those physically transcendent moments. My chest filled with fluid warmth and the room seemed bathed in sea green light. I felt a smile come to my lips. I knew that I had discovered the joy of backward bending poses. I left the class confident that I had a new relationship to chest expansion and perhaps even to emotional vulnerability.

This confidence glowed all the next day. When I dove into the pool for Masters swim practice, I was thinking about how I might apply chest expansion to swimming. About halfway through the workout, I crashed into another swimmer as she was pushing off the wall. Her head hit me full force in the sternum. The pain was excruciating. Somehow I finished the workout, showered, and drove home. But by then, breathing had become painful. Bending forward was nearly unbearable.

Now almost a week later, the injury is only about 50% improved, and I'm learning about chest expansion from a different point of view. To avoid pain, I have to keep my shoulders back and lead with my heart. Forward bends haven't been fun this past week. Pushing anything away from me (be it a wheelbarrow in the garden or the floor during chaturanga dandasana) is nearly impossible.

And so the metaphor of opening the heart invades my body in a deeply physical way. I wish I had listened more closely to how Rocky explained the Sanskrit word meaning bliss. I suspect it included the pain of my injured sternum as well as that of sea green euphoria.

Transformed

2011-07-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those days when the unexpected seems to transform your point of view?

I had one of those days yesterday. It started at Masters Swim practice when there was a substitute coach at the workout time I usually attend. Her style was totally different from the usual coach. In addition to the workout instructions, she gave very specific techniques to practice. WOW! It felt like the two techniques she suggested transformed my work out--making it more aerobic and powerful.

Then I went on a "Dearma date" with my 16-year-old grandson, Cody. I always let the kids choose what they want to do, and Cody's choices never cease to surprise me. For instance, he wanted to go to Perko's for lunch. This is not a restaurant that I frequent and according to his mom they never go there, so what's the appeal? He likes a particular burger they serve. And I had a Thai chicken salad that was absolutely delicious. The place was cool and not very busy at 2pm when we arrived, so it was a perfectly delightful and, for me, unique lunch spot.

Then we went to see the movie: "The Transformers: The Dark Side of the Moon." What a hoot! The movie is funny and the animation is fabulous. Cody and I shared a large popcorn and laughed and commented liberally as there were very few people in the theater. This is a movie I would not have normally seen, but I have to say I enjoyed all 2 hours and 37 minutes, something I surely didn't anticipate when Cody announced this was what he wanted to do. Another thing I liked was that we sat through the entire run of credits after the movie, something I ALWAYS do but was surprised to learn my grandson liked to do too.

The next unexpected thing was going to the final performance for Vacation Bible School at Chapel in the Pines. The plan was that I'd drop Cody off there so he could do the sound for the performance. I popped into the little chapel to get a Raleigh hug, and he encouraged me to stay for the show, so I did. What a blast! The theme was upbeat summer Caribbean, so there were lots of grass skirts and flowery shirts and plastic fruit. Brent Corson led the singing which was lively and joyous. The highlight of the evening, however, was the closing song. It was a partnered, hand-clapping affair which I did with Raleigh. The short verse was repeated 4 times at a rapidly accelerating pace. Glistening with perspiration, Raleigh and I hand-clapped and sang with joyous abandon.

My Friday was transformed by unexpected pleasures and I'm feeling pretty grateful.

Working with Dearma

2011-07-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

This summer, I set a goal to have each of my grandkids come and work for me. I have tons of chores that need to be done, and I like working with someone. They like making money, and I like to think they enjoy spending time with me. I know I love time with them, especially one-on-one time when I get to hear from them without the distractions that accompany many of our encounters.

So I made a list of tasks that I thought were age and ability appropriate and went to work setting times for them to come. Lunch and a treat were part of the deal. Usually I took them to the deli to select what they wanted and then we went to freezer to choose ice cream or popsicles for dessert.

The first to come was Gianna. She helped me trim a 50 foot rosemary hedge. Gianna is methodical and always figures out the practicalities of a task. Based on her evaluation of the project, we used both hedge trimmers and hand held pruners and moved along steadily with her setting the pace.

Next came Clare and Mary Autumn. Three-year-old Clare organized drip system pieces by size, type, and color in the drawers a small parts cabinet. She also helped me plant rotten bananas in my rose garden. She loved that job, especially when the trowel turned up worms. Mary Autumn helped me clean and organize my potting yard cabinet. She cleaned pots, wiped down shelves, and put things back in the best of order. That cabinet has never looked so good.

Leon helped me build a rock retaining wall and a step into the side yard. While eating popsicles after completing the job, we discovered our shared love for bird watching. The kid has an incredible eye for sighting the smallest bird in a tree. We took a bunch of pictures.

Cody worked with Granddaddy to build a retaining wall and two sets of stairs in the side yard. It was hot, hard, dirty work but Cody hung in there and finished long after I had retreated to sitting in the shade. I now have a spot for a fruit tree and berry vine to be planted in the fall.

Taylor and Candice are window washers extraordinaire. Candice worked ahead of Taylor and I cleaning all the window sills and the cruddy tracks where the aluminum windows sit. We came behind washing windows, inside and out. Cindy meanwhile was working on cleaning the screens. This was a 6-hour job and there was not one complaint from these girls and plenty of giggles! And can I just say, Taylor voluntarily cleaned up inside after the job while I was putting things away outside.

Next came Athan who helped me trim the oleander, a monumental job that I have to do every summer after the bloom. High atop a ladder, Athan chatted away about the view and pruning decisions he was making, once commenting on how he was like his dad in his interest in pruning. Yep, this is true. The oleander have never looked so fine as when he finished.

Still to come are Kyle, Aliou, Huck, Nell, and Anna Mae. Also, Candice and I agreed that she is going to come twice. (She was saving for dance camp so she came along for Taylor's job.) I haven't mentioned August because he regularly works in Dearma's yard.

When people find out I have 14 grandkids, the first thing they often say is "How do you afford Christmas?" I must say the gifts I get from these kids far exceed what I give them.

(NOTE: I didn't get pictures of Gianna, Clare, or Mary Autumn and promised Taylor I wouldn't publish a picture of her as she didn't feel prepared for a photo shoot.)

Memory Month

2011-05-31T08:14:00.001-07:00

I do believe that the month of May 2011 will go down in history as one of the busiest and most memorable. It was cram-packed with special events and family connections:

May 2- After 11 days of caring for her mom, Cindy came home, worried still but hopeful that her mom was returning to her strong, durable self.
May 3- I worked with Candice & Kyle on their end of the year writing samples and then had a pre-birthday visit with my dear friend, Trish.
May 5- Childcare at the Tippetts while JL went to a training for IEW--one of my longest days ever caring for her brood.
May 6- Grandparents day at Mother Lode Christian School where Taylor and classmates served brunch and I got to see her classroom and meet her teacher, Mrs. Briniger.
May 7- Fundraising pancake breakfast at Applebees for Cody's soccer team. Phone call to Nell to sing the Hooray Birthday song, followed by a trip to Mariposa where we planted veggies for Cindy's mom for Mother's Day.
May 8- Dixon family birthday, celebrating with Sabrina and Sandie, plus Mother's Day calls from my kids.
May 9- August did major yardwork at my place. Fred & Bonnie arrived to spend the night after a doctor visit in Sacramento where Bonnie got an excellent report. Started Masters Swim 101.
May 10- Birthday party at Culley's for me, Nell and John. Pizza party with the whole family!!!!
May 11- Huck's play with grade 1 students at Waldorf.
May 12- The gear shift on Cindy's truck broke and Raleigh was on the scene immediately to make repairs in under 10 minutes.
May 13- Huck's play again, this time with Cindy. Shopping trip to Modesto with Anna Mae (also paid of tax debt!!!)
May 14- Outing with Nell, Mary Autumn, Gianna, and Candice to Columbia (see previous post).
May 15- Buddhist workshop with Nancy Spence.
May 17- Anna Mae's graduation from 8th grade.
May 18- Dokasan with Nancy.
May 19- Open house at the Country School for Athan, Aliou, Leon & Mary Autumn.
May 20- Belated birthday dinner with Becky at Applebees
May 21- Kate Reid concert in Pioneer; fast drive back to Tuolumne County to see the last 20 minutes of Roller Derby. We missed Madam Ovary's 35 point jam :(
May 22- Lunch with Cindy's cousin Bobby and his wife at Diamondback. Anna Mae's confirmation at All Saints.
May 23- August does yardwork at my house.
May 24- Cody helps me spread bark at Culley's.
May 25- Mary Autumn's graduation from kindergarten. Writing group meeting in the evening.
May 26-30 Four day weekend--planting plants, painting door, setting up swamp cooler, watching movies & TV-- basically fun stuff at home :)

Oh, and I can proudly say that I went to Masters Swim 101 faithfully throughout the month and have almost mastered the butterfly stroke. And to top it off, I was selected as the winner of the free coffee at Day-O this morning.

June . . . here I come . . .

All in a Saturday

2011-05-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

Can I just say that the following chain of events appeals to my sense of family-centeredness:

At 8am on Saturday morning, Uncle Raleigh met Uncle Michael in Twain Harte so that Cody, Kyle, and Candice could be transported to the Tippetts. Cody was going to work with Uncle Michael while Kyle hung out with Athan, Leon, and Aliou overseen by Aunt Jennie Lou and Clare. Dearma was going to pick up Candice later in the morning for a girl cousin outing.

On the way to Belleview Road, Aunt Andrea called Uncle Michael to say she wanted to go to to the Farmer's Market with Huck and wondered if he could pick up Nell on his way home for a visit at the Tippetts until Dearma arrived to collect the girls for the outing.

At 10:45, Dearma arrived at the Tippetts to get Nell, Mary Autumn, and Candice. She still needed to get Gianna at Little Red School house where she and Anna Mae were painting sets for the school play. Aunt Jennie Lou asked if Dearma could deliver Anna Mae's lunch which she had forgotten to take when she left earlier in the morning.

At 3 o'clock, while the girl cousins were eating ice cream after a picnic, stage ride, panning for gold, and rock climbing (see Facebook photos), Candice mentioned that she had overheard Uncle Raleigh tell Uncle Michael that he would pick her up at the Tippetts, so Dearma texted Aunt Jenny to confirm. After a few text messages and a phone call, Dearma agreed to take Candice to the Tippetts where she would get Kyle and Cody and meet Uncle Raleigh and Aunt Jenny somewhere between Sonora and Jamestown to deliver the children.

As Dearma and the girl cousins drove over Big Hill, a text came in from Aunt Andrea saying Huck had petered out on a bike ride and was laying in the grass at the bottom of Belleview Road. Could we pick up him and his bike?

After stopping for Huck, Dearma dropped off Huck and Nell and then took Mary Autumn and Gianna home where she picked up Kyle and Cody and left to meet Uncle Raleigh, Aunt Jenny, and Taylor at Willow Springs Market.

In my book, this is the gift of family all in a Saturday! (in keeping with Ann Voskamp's notion of 1000 Gifts.

In Training

2011-05-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

I hesitate to say that I'm training for a triathlon when I have yet to run a mile nor is my bike in working order, so I'll just say that I'm seriously thinking about doing a triathlon next October.

Watching my daughter-in-law do a sprint triathlon last October instigated this thought. The event was exhilirating, and when I spotted a woman who had the number 63 on her leg, her age category, I began to think about participating in 2011.

I took preliminary steps in December by joining the gym and asking for the book The Slow Fat Triathlete as Christmas gift. Reading the book was motivating. I immediately bought a little blank calendar booklet to create a training guide. Here are the things I've done so far to get my body ready:

1.) To develop core strength, I go to yoga 4-5 times a week. This month I added a pilates class and just recently, I noticed a little indentation in my abs. Might they be the beginning of a 6-pack?
2) To build cardiovascular capacity, I have been going to aerobics classes at the gym 3-4 times a week.
3) Last week, I went to my first spin class. Whoa! That's one tough class. I'm hoping it will prep my for the bicycle which is definitely going to be the most challenging segment for me.
4) I am going to the track once a week where I walk/jogging to remind my body about running. It's eager, but I'm taking it easy. I also read the book Born to Run which really got my mind pointed toward the joy of running and planted some new ideas about shoes, among other things.
5) On Monday, I start Masters 101, a swim refresher course. Actually, I'm on the waiting list for the class, but I intend to show up and beg to get in.

I'm not ready to say I'm doing this yet, but I'm headed toward a triathlon. As soon as I get my bike fixed and go for the first ride, and right after I run one whole mile without stoppping, I will say I'm in training.

Hither and yon

2011-03-23T17:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Gianna was reading a story that she wrote, and when she came to a part where her main character looked out the window at the "gleaming snow," she paused and said, "I love the word gleaming." I think she loves the delicious sound of the GL blending with the long sound of E that culminates in the hum of MING.

I can appreciate Gianna's pause to admire a favorite word because I have many words that I love. They are gifts to me. Here are a few:

#54 hither and yon
#55 nimbus
#56 glorious
#57 gurlesque
#58 kettle and mug
#59 aeolian
#60 spurtle and putz
#62 caesura

I could go on and on but let me just add that it's gift
#63 to hear a granddaughter's pause to admire a word.

And another gift is
#64 a lengthy phone conversation with my son's wife about kids, school, books, TV, friends and life.

The First Day of Spring

2011-03-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

Stormy weather all night that continues into this morning makes our upcoming vacation all the more appealing. Not to say, I don't enjoy the rain. Here are the gifts I'm grateful for on the first day of spring:

#39 snuggling under a down comforter on a stormy night;
#40 electrical power;
#41 witnessing the athleticism of my loved ones: daughters-in-law, granddaughters and grandsons (am I the only one who gets a rush of pleasure from seeing graceful, strong bodies in action?)
#42 the utter delight of the birthday girl--Gianna is 11!
#43 a toddler in my lap enjoying a middle school production of "Annie" (did I mention that she gently stroked the backs of my hands which were holding her in place on my lap?)
#44 catching and releasing a sweet gray mouse brought into the house by our huntress cat;
#45 fertilizing the roses and strawberries with Cindy's help in the pouring rain;
#46 drinking hot tea while wrapped in blankets after fertilizing the roses and strawberries in the pouring rain.
#47 a conversation with my daughter at the kitchen counter during a lull in the kid party action;
#48 Cindy's delight in Kohl's coupons and the bargains she wangles out of those coupons.
#49 hot greasy fries from MacDonalds;
#50 homemade ice cream sundaes;
#51 screaming "Go Madam O" at roller derby as she skated skillfully around and around the rink.
#52 receiving the drawing of a shark by Athan.

It's blustery and raining sheets outside, but it's a warm spring day in my heart.

More Gifts

2011-03-14T07:23:00.000-07:00

The point of the 1000 gifts exercise is to notice the blessings in one's life and to let that noticing do wondrous work. When the fragility of each day is so apparent in the devastation in Japan, it feels like a privilege to notice and be grateful:

#22 yummy black tea (Keemun) in the morning with half-and-half and stevia;
#23 spiral notebooks in all sizes with lined pages;
#24 Facebook postings from family near and far that are rich with life details;
#25 a partner with superb attention to detail and diligence in managing our taxes;
#26 weeding, weeding, weeding;
#27 a lay Buddhist monk who has been my guide regarding the mysteries of life for 25 years;
#28 Sangha buddies to practice with;
#29 an Oprah Winfrey show about camping in Yosemite that was laugh-out-loud funny;
#30 Skype and spontaneous calls from my brother and sister-in-law;
#31 super wonderful audio book narrators;
#32 a dependable old Subaru Legacy;
#33 neighbor kids' voices and laughter as they wait for the bus;
#34 the unsettling of and adjustment to Daylight Savings;
#35 the rush of anticipation each time I think about our upcoming vacation;
#36 reading and tutoring the literature assigned to my grandson for 11th grade English class;
#37 listening to my son-in-law's enthusiasm (and angst) as he embarks on a new career direction;
#38 Acorn slippers

Packing for a Cruise

2011-03-13T07:09:00.000-07:00

We don't leave for our Mexico cruise for a couple of weeks, but since we pack away seasonal clothes, we decided to bring down the boxes with shorts, tanks, and summer wear this weekend so that we could start thinking about what to bring on the trip. Now that airlines charge for luggage that is not carried on, we wanted to be thoughtful about what and how much we packed.

It wasn't long before clothes were spread all over the bed, and we were struggling into shorts that were too tight for our winter pudgy bodies. We stood before the full length mirror trying to find the best angle, wishing to see someone slimmer and more tan. Pastey white legs stretched from swim suits and belly fat hung over the edges of hip huggers. It was depressing to say the least. Cindy vowed to exercise for the next 10 days and I started an immediate fast.

Then we tried on dress-up clothes for formal night. We each found fancy outfits that totally changed our mood and made us wish we were headed for the gala evening as fast as possible. Dressed to the hilt, having also chosen fitting accessories, we stood side-by-side in front of the mirror, grinning. We knew we would look great for the last evening aboard ship and maybe if we stuck to our plan to exercise and diet, most of the other clothes would fit OK too.

When we looked back at the pile of chosen clothes on the bed, we also knew we would by paying extra for luggage.

Gifts:
#22 the lovely irridescent green skirt and top I bought for way too much money in Hawaii a few years ago, which looks good terrific when I've gained a few pounds;
#23 the wherewithall it took to save for this trip and the fact that it's almost here after a year and half of saving.
# 24 a body that actually will respond to 10 days of exercise and dieting to shape up a bit so I can wear my favorite shorts comfortably.
#25 dear Cindy who says all the right things when I'm feeling fat.

Grandparents Day at Waldorf

2011-03-12T07:59:00.000-08:00

I can't remember if they had Grandparents Day when I was in school. Maybe there was such a day, but it meant little to me since my grandparents lived many states away, so I rarely saw them. But it means a lot to me now that I'm a grandparent who truly enjoys visiting my grand kids schools to see what they are doing, especially on a day designated for the elders in their life.

Uncle John, Cindy and I attended Grandparent's Day at the Sierra Waldorf School. Now that Huck is in Grade One, his class was part of the assembly. They kicked off the program by reciting a wonderful poem about a beetle and then did the entire poem again silently using hand gestures. Grade One was followed by the other grades in ascending order, which gave those of us in the audience a taste of the future. It was like watching children grow right before your eyes.

After the program, Grade Eight students escorted us to the classrooms of the children we were visiting. We went to Huck's class where he displayed two beautiful portfolios, one for math concepts and one for reading concepts. His art work was colorful and imaginative, and he took pleasure in sharing each page with us. We didn't think Huck had spotted us in the audience during the assembly, but we were wrong. He had been looking out for us just as we were looking for him.

Then we went to preschool where we sat behind Nell as the class said a blessing for the soup and bread they were about to serve. Miss Beth directed Nell to distribute napkins to guests and her friend Richard to pass out spoons. Then each child served their special guests. Can I just say that watching 4 and 5 year olds carry bowls of hot soup took my breath away. Fear and admiration were the compelling emotions. Every bowl was delivered without a drop spilled. After lunch, the children sang the good-bye song they sing each day as they take leave of their friends and teacher. Finally the children collected our dishes and headed out to the porch to wash and dry them.

Nell gave us big scrumptious hugs good-bye before leaving with Uncle John to collect Huck and go home. I am so glad I live down the road from the Sierra Waldorf School rather than states away.

Gifts
#19 two grand kids attending a school I would love to have sent my kids to;
#20 Miss Beth's tender attention to those 2 children these past 3 years;
#21 The marvelously serene and talented teacher Waldorf found for Grade 1 at midyear (wish I could recall her name) . . .

1000 Gifts

2011-03-11T06:38:00.000-08:00

I'm joining my daughter, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter in listing the gifts --the multitude of blessings--that are a part of my life on a daily basis. The value of thanksgiving--of expressing gratitude--is the rapidity with which hit erases poverty mind. In a flash, the heart swells with tenderness. In her book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, Ann Voskamp calls it a dare list--daring to acknowledge the grace in one's life.

Let my list begin:

#1 bird song at dawn
#2 hot baths and ibuprophen
#3 sweet messages, handwritten and electronic, from my partner
#4 someone who balances my checkbook
#5 granddaughters who greet me with genuine enthusiasm
#6 a phone call from a friend I haven't heard from in a while
#7 reading poetry as the sun rises over Table Mountain
#8 three exceptional yoga instructors, Cherie, Christian, Dee
#9 texts and email from my sons
#10 sharing confidences with my daughter
#11 the DVR that records my favorite TV programs
#12 pink blossoms on 3 ornamental plum trees again a back drop of blue sky
#13 aching muscles, the result of shoveling bark
#14 enjoying the lovely results of shoveling bark around new plantings
#15 the talking tail of my cat
#16 morning fog rolling into the meadow from the reservoir
#17 the steady tick of the burl clock our neighbor gave us.
#18 the rolling fire trail around our mobile home park that offers a place to exercise, constantly changing vistas, and innumerable wildlife sightings.

Fear & Adernaline Poisoning

2010-10-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

On Saturday night, I had a harrowing experience that sent adrenaline coursing through my bloodstream with toxic effects. Here's what happened:

The day involved meeting Cindy's family in Fresno to see the movie Secretariat followed by dinner at the Chuckchansi Casino in Coarsegold. Sure, this was a lot of driving but also great catchup time for Cindy and me. After dinner at the buffet (a delicious stir fry for me), I left Cindy gambling with some of her family while I headed out to trek the curving foothill roads of Highway 41 and 49 to her parent's home in Mariposa.

As I approached the truck in the parking lot, I noticed that the left front tire was low, so I drove to a nearby gas station to air up. However, the air dispenser was out of order. The next station was 5 miles away, so I headed down the road to get the air I needed. Shortly after I left that station, a red light came on: "Check Gauges." I couldn't see that anything was off (though later learned I was misreading the battery charge gauge), so I kept going but pulled into a shopping center in Oakhurst after I turned onto Highway 49 and called Cindy. After a brief discussion, we decided I should drive on to Mariposa as we could not discern what was wrong.

I drove another 5 miles and another light came on. This one said "Air Bag." I could not figure out what was going on until I was heading down a steep, curving incline, a 2-mile drop into the river canyon, and noticed that the headlights were incredibly dim and then non-existent. I was driving in the dark with a car fast approaching behind me. I hit the brakes again and again, hoping the brake lights were working. The lights in the car behind cast an eeire shadow of my truck on the road ahead making it difficult to see. I barrelled downhill, headed for a narrow bridge that crossed the river. CLUNK--a noise reverberated through the car, and the power steering was gone. I sailed across the bridge in a frightening float-coast. Spotting a driveway just past the end of the bridge, I managed to maneuver into its entrance and stopped barely off the road. Five or six cars zipped past me at breakneck speed.

Coursing with adrenalin, my hands shaking badly, I tried to make the flashers come on without success. I reached behind the seat looking for a flashlight that I knew was stored there. In the dark of the cab, I frantically pulled stuff forward, dumping a mess all over the front seat. The truck was still running and cars were speeding past. I was shaking uncontrollably and felt like I was going to throw up that delicious stir fry. When there was a break in the traffic, I backed up by moonlight into the driveway, skimming by a row of mail boxes. Then I turned the car off and reached for my cell phone. No coverage in that canyon. Every nerve ending was alive in my body, twitching and shuddering.

I was eventually rescued with the help of a good samaritan and coordination by Cindy from a far, but the lesson about the effects of fear and adrenaline will stay with me. I didn't stop shaking until 30 minutes after I was in a safe place, and I was sick for hours from the adernaline rush, nauseated, head aching, and unable to sleep. I kept feeling myself rushing down that hill with no lights or steering and a weird shadow out in front of me. Adrenaline poisoning is surely a factor in post traumatic stress syndrome.

This tap on the shoulder by fear fills me with compassion for those who live in terror or are momentarily brushed by horror. My harrowing experience was brief with a very positive outcome, but it gave me a vivid taste of what fear does to one's body and spirit.

Bottled Water Withdrawal

2010-10-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Today is Blog Action Day. Bloggers around the world are writing about water as a global issue.

I'm taking the stance: think globally, act locally.

By local, I mean right here in my own sweet home, or rather by my personal action. You see, I've been working not too successfully for two years to STOP using bottled water. I wrote the following statement on my annual goals for 2009 and 2010. "I will consistently use my Kleen Kanteen to carry water with me."

Notice that I had to write it two years in a row. That's because I did not manage to do this in 2009, and it now that it is October 2010, I can say that I'm not faring much better this year. But with this post and this day-- Blog Action Day-- I'm recommitting myself.

WHY?

FACT 1: In the US, we buy an average of 200 bottles of water per person per year.
FACT 2: 17 million gallons of oil a year are needed to produce these plastic bottles.
FACT 3: More than 86% of those bottles are not recycled.

Here's the thing. Somehowm my taste buds tell me that the bottled water tastes better than our tap water. However, according to Annie Leonard who wrote the book The Story of Bottled Water, "Companies like PepsiCo, Coca-Cola and Nestle, the big three water bottlers, are actually sucking municipal water systems for the product they bottle and sell back to us for hundreds and even thousands of times the cost."

So I've been duped. The solution? I simply need to train my mouth to enjoy the water from the tap that I put into my Kleen Kanteen. And I can do that by consistently drinking from my Kleen Kanteen.

By so doing, I subtract my infinitesimal numbers from those in FACTS 1, 2, & 3.

I offer this tiny sacrifice to :

3.6 million people who die each year because they don't have clean water to drink and 4,000 children younger than 5 who die every day from preventable, water-borne diseases.

Milestone

2010-10-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

This post heralds one of those milestone moments. My eldest grandchild got his driver's license today.

Three of his siblings, his mother, and I waited inside the DMV office while he was taking the test. When I spotted him through a window on the other side of the office returning with the examiner, the HUGE grin on his face told me he had PASSED!

An obvious milestone for August, one of those markers on the way to adulthood, it is also one those countable moments for his mother and grandmother. As I get older, the notable events in this family pile up-- graduations, performances, sporting events, and all manner of firsts: first day of school, high school, the first lost tooth, first bike ride without training wheels. And now this: first solo drive. I count every event as remarkable as in worthy of notice and attention. Each milestone, each first, gives me a thrill. . .

. . . and also new possibilities. August will be driving to my place tomorrow to help me clean the rain gutters.

Unscheduled

2010-10-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

This morning was the first in several months that I did not have hustle to get to a job, a task, a project, or some assignment. I took my cup of tea to my desk and checked my email where I found a message that I'd been saving for weeks about the end of Bloglines. So I decided to important all of my RSS feeds to Google Reader, not that I'd been doing much blog reading lately. The import led to seeing a list of unread posts, and so feeling like I had all the time in the world, I clicked in and started reading.

I read post after post at Zen Habits about simplifying one's life, and one about unscheduling one's life. WOW! This message could not have been more apropos. My life is totally over-scheduled.

Then I clicked into "The Race" and read a post about my daughter-in-law losing a friend to sudden death that was incredibly poignant and tapped into a recurrent worry I've been having about not making the best use of my time.

As I moved back to much earlier posts at "The Race," I found one written way back in January called "Memories." It's a slide show that I'd seen before but relished visiting again. At first, I was smiling but ultimately the show had me weeping with love.

Can I just say that having a free moment this morning, totally unscheduled so that I could just wander at will, led me down a very clear path to the truth about doing less and getting more.

Fig Jam

2010-10-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, five-year-old Nell labeled 3 dozen jars of newly made fig jam. While that's the remarkable fact, here's the delicious fact.

I was the recipient of one of those jars, and I've been indulging every since: fig jam on biscuits; fig jam on peanut butter sandwiches; fig jam on pancakes. And I confess to a simply eating a few spoonfuls of fig jam right out of the jar.

Fig jam is my favorite and has been since back in 1974 in South Carolina when Mrs. Suggs, Grandma Harrelson's neighbor, supplied our family with a year's supply of fig jam. I think I was the only one to get addicted. The problem is fig jam is not something you can buy in the store, at least not a variety that calls to my taste buds. So I am happy indeed that there is now a fig tree and jam maker in the family. The supply of fig jam will no doubt be endless.

Jenny's Triathlon-Inspiring

2010-10-03T16:59:00.000-07:00

Inspiring is the only word that works to describe Jenny's triathlon. She smiled her way through the entire event and took 3rd in her age group. That smile was possible because she knew she was fit! She'd trained all summer and had the muscles to prove it. Watching Jenny had Raleigh, Cody, Kyle, and even me dreaming about doing it next year. It was really AWESOME! Here are some pictures including one with friends Tamra and Diana who also participated.

Surprise Moments

2010-09-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

The best part of any day is one of those surprise moments! I had one of those moments this week on Tuesday, my homeschool day. I had just finished working with Kyle and Candice when Raleigh, who is home from work this week, asked if I wanted a latte. He has new espresso maker, and I happily agreed to the hot, frothy drink.

A few minutes later, he set a large cup in front of me and invited Cody to join him in singing a song for me--"Mess of Me." There I sat high on stool sipping a delicious hot drink, while my son and grandson strummed their guitars and sang in rich sonorous voice. It was heavenly, and got even better when behind me Kyle and Candice added their sweet, soft voices to the music.

I'm telling you, it doesn't get much better than this kind of surprising moment!

Sentry

2010-08-27T07:26:00.000-07:00

For weeks, this spider has been standing sentry at the entry way to our home. She has built a web with a 2 foot radius that rises out of lavender plant growing in a wine barrel that sits between the garden fence and the shed. There is one long, thick strand that connects the web to the roof of the shed. To negotiate the walkway to and from the driveway without running into her web, we have to hug the the shed wall.

She is in control of the passage, and we mindfully pass her web repeatedly throughout the day. In this way, she is proving a noble and constant teacher.

The Day My Doctor Died

2010-08-18T08:10:00.000-07:00

I did not know he was gone

as I harvested seeds from

spent love-in-a mist

and worried

that the size of my family

increased the chances exponentially

for injury and death.

The day before a woman,

whom I hardly knew, grasped my arm

with hopeful fingers

when told I had 14 grandkids.

“Do you have a favorite?”

she asked. “Yes,” I demurred,

“ but the favored one

changes frequently.”

She parried,

“My favorite is in coma.”

The day my doctor died,

I sat on a rolling yard caddy

plucking dried seed pods

crushing their bulbous heads

releasing tiny black seeds

into a Cool Whip container

and imagined my loved ones

hurt or dying.

On the other side of town,

the man who had tended all our family ills:

pneumonia and earaches,

rashes and whopping cough,

broken arms and broken leg,

retained placenta,

morbid staph infection,

congestive heart failure,

had died in his sleep.

He had caught our babies,
and told us in a gentle, measured cadence,

“You need to prepare for your mother’s death.”

The day my doctor died,

I collected seeds to sow.

A hot August breeze rushed

about my bare shoulders.

A plastic tub sat at my feet

filled with seeds and crumbled pods,

the fruit of delicate spring flowers,

the propagation of countless

tender encounters.

Pay Off

2010-08-14T08:16:00.000-07:00

On August 10, 2010, we paid off the mortgage on our home!

I've heard that in the 1950s, people used to have mortgage burning parties to celebrate the pay off date! We went to Baskin Robbins for hot fudge sundaes.

The moment was sweet and deserved a delicious acknowledgment. It had been a long haul though not the 30 years that are so often part of a home mortgage deal. We bought the place 10 years ago, in a moment of necessity AND impulsive enthusiasm. We planned to stay no more than 5 years. The interest was exorbitant--14.9%-- but in the moment we ignored the significance of that number. Soon however, we began trying to refinance. That proved impossible for a number of reason, the primary one being we had sneaked into our mortgage during a tiny window when getting financing to buy a mobile was relatively easy. But that window slammed shut quickly, and by the time we were ready to refinance, there was no one lending. It actually took us several tries to realize this was the case. We have 3 files labeled: refinance with the year we applied. Once we got so close we could taste the relief, but it bombed.

Three months ago, we knew we had to do something. We are on a fixed income with barely any discretionary money, and we were pouring money down the bottomless well of interest, getting no where fast. We came up with a plan to sell our house and use the equity to pay off the loan and buy a mobile of lesser value. It was that decision that launched us into a wild ride that included many side trips--talking with trusted advisers and researching a myriad of options. Once we started to think more creatively, the solution emerged. We took a giant leap that admittedly involves some scrabbling on the other side, but we are singing joyfully and hopefully.

The mortgage is paid, and in one year, we will have also paid off our credit card debt. We have to work hard for one more year to manage the choices we made, but we are not giving our money to the interest monster any more, and our house is OURS! We've fallen in love with it again and look forward to the rainbows that so often appear in our meadow.

Swimming Lessons

2010-07-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

I have a theory that if you put a 7 year old in a swimming pool or a lake, you can stand back and watch him or her learn to swim. Throw that child a few pointers about kicking, stroking, and breathing and watch a swimmer materialize before your eyes.

I had the opportunity to witness just such a thing when I went to Ponderosa Hills pool with Athan, Leon and Aliou. Our hosts were Jenny, Kyle, and Candice, and when we got there at 10am, we had the entire pool to ourselves. The kids stayed in the pool for the next 2 1/2 hours, only emerging a couple of times to scarf down a fat pretzel, a bite of beef jerkey, or sip of melted yogurt before getting right back in the water.

Veterans Kyle and Candice were great instructors and life guards and undoubtedly the models for some of the things the boys learned. Jenny and I took turns getting in the water with the kids while the other one stayed on deck with an eagle eye watching their playful antics. Jenny pulled the boys on water boards for thrilling trips into the deep water and had a pool bottom "tea party" with Candice. I tended to put on my instructional cap, offering suggestions for improving mobility in the water. The main lesson of the day was cupping one's hands for greater traction during dog paddle and crawl stroke and looking at the sky while floating on the back to improve buoyancy. They all enjoyed learning how to do the dead man's float and diving from a kneeling position on the deck.

Athan probably had the most remarkable growth spurt when he discovered he could dive in and swim ALL the way across the pool. After about 10 of these trips, Candice led him to the deep end (with our permission) to try his new found skill there. He was glowing with pride, swimming beside the elegant mermaid Candice.

Aliou had a blast kicking, floating, and diving on water toys, but also demonstrated a very skillful back stroke.

Leon was an ever-eager student, who despite chattering teeth, continued to practice his crawl stroke all morning and finally mastered a pretty good dog paddle that took a little less energy and moved him more swiftly to where he wanted to go. His back float is also superb!

Kyle, the oldest of the bunch, showed everyone how to do flip dives off the side and handstands on the bottom, which they tried again and again. He was also a pair of 3rd eyes, keeping watch on 3 rambunctious 7-year-olds who were mastering the ability to swim.

Sadly, I forgot the camera, though I'm not sure it would have been easy to replace the eagle eye with a camera lens with everyone shouting "Watch this, Dearma!" Jenny and I agreed that being ultra-alert for 2 1/2 hours was exhausting. I don't know about her, but I took a nap when I got home.

Planting Pleasure

2010-07-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

When I asked Culley if there was some kind of service I could do for his birthday, he said he'd like to have the planters on his deck cleaned up and replanted with annuals and some more perennials.

WOW! I thought, is this a gift for him or for me? Planning, shopping, and planting a little deck garden sounded like a lot of fun.

First, I drew a diagram of the deck and the placement of all the planters with their existing perennials, and then I set my mind to dreaming. I was thinking about color, seasons, deer, and children, all of which had to be factored in-- deer-proof stuff for the patio, flowers Nell could pick, spaces for the fairy gardens she and Huck like to make, plants that would bloom until Thanksgiving and ones that would return next spring, textures that would be pleasing against the oak backdrop that surrounded the deck, and colors that would be complimentary. I made lots of notes . . .

And then I went shopping and filled Cindy's truck with six packs and quart pots. I couldn't find the bulbs I wanted, but I would plant those later in the fall. At the house, I spent several hours cleaning up the planters, turning the existing potting soil and adding new soil to many of the planters. Then Cindy joined me, and we got to work planting. It took us 2 days. The work was such fun that at one point, Cindy said, "Why don't we do this for a living?" I was on exactly the same page. There could not be a more pleasant past time than working in the dirt with a passel of plants.

We filled the deck and patio with lavender, society garlic, petunias and zinnias and ganzia, coleus and baby roses, star jasmine and even a Japanese maple, to name a few. I'm looking forward to watching this garden grow, sure that in a month or so my dreaming will be realized.

Thanks Culley. This was a mutually beneficial exchange.

Clare is 2

2010-07-09T06:39:00.001-07:00

Clare relished every minute of her 2nd birthday, reminding us all to slow down and savor time. She patiently awaited the older children who had to be called from play far and wide to come sing. She glowed after blowing out her candles, never for a minute realizing she'd had help from Dearma who was sitting behind her. She allowed the first piece of cake to go to brother Athan without a word of complaint, and he dutifully stood by to assist with present unwrapping--the hard stuff like breaking apart plastic ties and packaging. Clare carefully pointed to each letter of her name on every envelope and then studied each card as if memorizing the words. The time she took with each gift was the ultimate gift to the giver, topped off by the sweetest "thank yous" ever spoken. Once all the gifts were opened, she marched down to the lake--in her distintive deliberate stride-- to try out her new pink inner tube, a gift from Yay-yay, also know as Granddaddy.

Happy Birthday, Clare. We will savor your 2nd year in the style you so beautifully illustrated.

Second Book

2010-06-25T14:41:00.001-07:00

My second book is out: The Right Sisters: Women Inventors Tell Their Stories. This was a collaborative project with my friend, inventor Julia Rhodes.

For me, it was tremendously satisfying to work on a project that celebrates women's ingenuity with a dear friend. Julia and I have a long history of supporting one another, helping each other to the next step . . . and the next. It also feels pretty wonderful to have in my hands two books that I authored.

If you'd like to buy the book, it is available online at Amazon or Barnes & Nobel or you can contact Julia through her KleenSlate Concepts website or give me a ring and I'll get you a copy.

Side Yard

2010-06-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

This year, my major yard improvment goal is to finish the side yard. That side of the house boasts 4 native white oaks, and the rule of thumb is that you are not supposed to water under oak trees, so I decided to make this my native plant space. Well, sort of!

It will feature primarily natives after I finish terracing it with railroad ties and building paths with crushed granite (designed for ease in leaf blowing). I also plan to have rock enclosed bulb beds with crocus, daffodils, and irises that bloom before the summer heat. In the open space at the eastern end, I'm going to plant a peach tree to replace the one we cut down in the front yard this year and maybe a grape or berry vine. On the other side of the fence, I have left vinca on the long stretch of road that accesses the park. It's attractive (though invasive) and doesn't need a lot of water.

Four summers ago, Cindy's nephew Rex helped kick off the project by extending the privacy lattice and building the first level of terracing. Then on my 60th birthday, a work party built steps down from the swing and at the western entrance to the yard. Last summer, I bought 10 more railroad ties that Cody helped me pick up and unload. He also built one more step. Then the project languished for a year, a huge pile of ties laying in the yard with weeds growing up around them.

With renewed vigor, I was determined to finish the yard this year. First Argos came and sprayed for weed control. Then we raked and weedwacked and racked more. Then Argos returned to start building the terrace for the peach tree and a section of steps as well as beds from the road up to the fire hydrant. Last Saturday, Becky and I finished those steps and beds and dug up the trumpet vine and put in one more railroad tie on the upper terrace.

There are more stairs to build, and I have to create and plant the bulb beds and do additional work on the hill below the fire hydrant, but I'm thrilled with the major progress in getting this project done. Thanks to all of my helpers. You make me so happy!

Strawberry Fields

2010-05-20T08:15:00.001-07:00

We are getting a bountiful harvest of strawberries this year. During the past 10 years, we have relocated the strawberry patch four times. We have battled deer, birds, grasshoppers, tons of weeds, and poor soil conditions. They have been in their present location for 3 years and finally we are getting LOTs of succulent fruit. The deer are fenced out and Cindy has been able to grab the berries BEFORE the birds get to them. I'm not sure if the large number of berries is due to finally getting the plants established in the right place or the late spring rain. I'm simply delighted to enjoy a delicious strawberry-banana smoothie every morning.

Oh, and I'm grateful to my diligent strawberry picker, Cindy.

New Door

2010-05-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

Cindy got me a door for my birthday. The back door to our home opens into my office and the room is one of the darkest in the house. I wanted more light and thought a door with windows would help so she gifted me with just such a door. Then she enlisted the STAR family helper to install the door: Michael Tippett. It was an all day project because, of course, there were unforseen problems like termite damage to the beams under the door jam. But Michael got the door in and now I have much more light and a lovely smooth working door.
Thank you Cindy & Michael.
Old Door

Michael cutting away termite damage.

New Door!!

Mission Impossible

2010-05-05T15:50:00.000-07:00

Around these parts, 4th graders typically study California history for their social studies curriculum. Jenny enlisted me to to take part in Kyle's study by doing a couple of field trips and helping with his mission project.

Kyle is a little sponge who soaks up what he reads, so when he, Candice, and I went to Grinding Rock State Park last fall to see MiWok artifacts, he was well versed regarding how the early native Californians lived.

Next up was the mission project, which I was really sweating. I didn't do all that well with my own kids projects, and not being a particularly handy person, I was not sure at all what to do to get this one started. The night before our first meeting about the mission, I did not sleep well. I was thinking about using building materials like paper mache or sugar cubes or something like that. I'd downloaded pictures and diagrams of Mission San Juan Batistia, the mission Kyle had chosen because he had visited it with his family, but I still didn't know what I was going to do to get us started.

Then Fred Dixion came to my rescue. Cindy told her mom about my worries, and she told Fred who promptly called me on my cell phone. He told me exactly what to get--styrofoam sheets for the structure and strips of discarded lattice for the roof. He recommended getting twigs for trees and some ceramic angels or crosses for decoration. What a relief! Now I knew how to get started.

I took Kyle shopping at Wal Mart for the styrofoam, and then we hit three thrift stores. By then Kyle was getting imaginative and found some great contact paper to use for the tile entry ways, and he found golf tees and green yarn that he thought could be fashioned into trees. We also found some angels for decorations. Then I came up with the idea of using the corrugated inside of a pizza box for the roof. We were set.

On building day, I brought all the stuff to his house along with glue and an Xacto blade. Kyle had a board for us to build the mission on, and he suggested we use a hot glue gun to connect the walls and roof. I'd never used one before, but he was an expert with the gun. In a couple of hours, we had our mission built, and I was pleased as punch. He did way more of the work than I did, and I felt like the whole thing had turned out just as it should. WHEW, I was glad to have that project behind us.

Finally, we went to Columbia State Park. Kyle was decked out to the max in a cowboy costume, so much so that a bus load of fourth grade kids visiting the park thought he was part of the show. Kyle had plans to arrest the robber when we went on the stage coach ride. He even had handcuffs, but sadly the stage wasn't running that day. So he panned for gold. His plan: "If I find a nugget of gold, I'm gong to buy my mom and dad a house and all the Legos I want!"

I'd say that's a pretty admirable goal for a gold miner.

At the Museum, Kyle wowed the docents with his extensive knowledge about the items in the dioramas. The boy knows his California history! So glad to have had the pleasure of accompanying him on this learning journey.

Two Yellow Things and a Red One

2010-04-09T08:04:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamed about two yellow things and a red one.

I was busy in March, my life full of blog material though I wrote none. Actually I wrote many blogs in my head while driving, walking, washing dishes, going to sleep, and waking up. I still intend to publish them-- HERE-- right after . . .

. . . I finish a freelance project, plant strawberries in the Waldorf Kinder-Garden, go to a Sierra Hope Board Meeting, mow the lawn, fry chicken, pack for Disneyland, enjoy the Waldorf Rites of Spring Wild West Auction, attend an exclusive shopping event at Staples where I'll spend my gift cards and rewards card, and drive to Orange County to play with the Tippetts at Disneyland.

As soon as I get home I'll write those blogs and more.

Two nights ago, I dreamed that a large, joyful German Shepard demolished my computer as I slept.

Last night, I was an insomniac. When I finally fell asleep past 4am, I dreamed about two yellow things and a red one.

Writing a Book

2010-03-11T08:23:00.001-08:00

I spent the last month finishing a book project. Twelve hours a day, day after day. I loved it! My back ached from sitting; my wrist ached from typing. My nights were filled with thoughts about the book to the point that I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or thinking. I'd wake at 3am or 4am and wish that 5am would come so I could get up (at a reasonable hour) and get back to work. Thirty marvelous days of writing. What a gift; what a privilege. This was the end of the project, during which I completed the last 75 pages or so.

But the project actually started years before when I had lunch with my friend Julia. The idea for The Right Sisters was hers. She came up with the title and she did tons of research before I ever got invovled. At lunch that day, I absorbed her enthusiasm like a plant collecting energy from the sun. The photosynthesis took eight years before that energy was fully transformed into a book.

When I think about it, the book project really started years before that lunch date, back when Julia and I first met and I reveled in her smile, in her joy of life, in her swinging blond hair and willingness to jump when I was merely tiptoeing . Way back in 1977, we started the partnership that would make a book thirty-three years later. We were the right sisters!

Thanks Julia, for being a part of my life, for shining your light on my creative life.

Snowmobile Adventure

2010-03-04T06:42:00.000-08:00

Cindy loves machines and she loves speed, so for her birthday this year, I scheduled a snowmobile adventure. We drove to Tahoe on her birthday eve and stayed at Harrahs. First, we celebrated a belated Valentine's Day by going to see the movie so named. There were only three couples in the theater for this sweet romantic comedy. We left the show in a geedy feel-good mood and went for a late dinner at the casino. Then I headed up to our room and Cindy enjoyed a few hours of gambling. We were nicely primed for our March 2, birthday adventure.

The next day at Zephyr Cove, we got suited up in snow pants, boots, gloves, and helmet and then climbed on a bus with 23 other people for the drive to the trailhead where we would be oriented to the machines. The first thing we learned was that we would be on the Cadillac of snowmobiles weighing in at 700 pounds. That's a lot of machine to maneuver with two riders even with an engine. Of course, the trail guide emphasized safety with a few scary admonitions about keeping your legs tucked so they didn't get broken should you roll the thing. Sufficiently worried--me about everything and Cindy about driving the thing--we took our position on a machine at the end of the line.

Cindy pushed the throttle and we lurched forward making two or three lunges as she gauged how to manage speed. Soon we were flying down the trail, shifting our butt cheeks and leaning into curves. It wasn't long before Cindy was wanting greater speed though thwarted by a much slower driver immediately in front of us. I, on the other hand, was glad for the pokey gal as it was taking me a while to get comfortable bouncing over the bumpy terrain. By the time we reached the first resting spot on the tour, my bladder was screaming from the pounding, and Cindy was asking the trail guide if we could go faster. To distance myself from both perspectives, I decided to take some pictures. After getting one great shot of Cindy's wind burned and delighted face, the camera froze, literally, for the temperature was dropping as a storm moved in.

When the ride resumed, we were indeed going faster, mostly downhill, and I was trying to figure out the best way to position my body for the jarring. If I wrapped my arms around Cindy's waist, we banged helmets repeatedly, and if I held on to the hand rails, my head flailed atop my neck. Cindy meanwhile was really getting into driving her machine, oblivious to our fishtailing rear and my fretful, fearful ride. Good thing the engine drowned out my grunts and moans and occasional plea to "Slow down!" She just wanted to go FAST!

Two hours later when we pulled into our parking spot at the trailhead, Cindy was grinning from ear-to-ear as I leaped from our snowmobile to tear across the snow to the porta-potty. We were soon leaning happily against one another on the bus ride back down the hill-- Cindy fed by speed and I relieved.

Todos Santos

2010-02-26T08:19:00.001-08:00

I wanted to post a few scenes from Todos Santos before I set off on my next adventure, Cindy's birthday week.

Here is a brief description of these pictures.
1. C&A with Heidi and Blossom in front of the Rav, a sturdy vehicle for Mexico dirt roads.
2. The path to Playa San Pedro or Palm Beach as it is generally called.
3. The 3 of us on an isolated beach near La Paz. Hiking over rocky terrain is worth it to snorkel in aquamarine waters.
4. The new stone walkway, designed by Connie and built by Pepe.
5. C&A, happily retired.
5. Patricia at an open reading at an art gallery in Todos Santos.

Like I said, this was a hard place to leave.

Tiny Town

2010-02-24T07:47:00.000-08:00

Tiny town is Connie's & Andy's pet name for Todos Santos. It refers to the manner in which news flies through the gringo community, or the entire community for that matter. For example, while I was visiting, Connie gave her housekeeper Maria a ride to her next job and on the way talked about Andy wanting to get in touch with the builder of the house, so he could deal with a few water issues. Two hours later, Paul, the builder, showed up at the gate saying, "You wanted to see me?" That's the way it is in Todos Santos. Communication travels rapidly via word of mouth.

Sometimes it's right on, like the way in which the neighborhood heard of C&A's arrival at their house last December. People immediately started dropping by to say hello and extend invitations. In two months, they have come to know everyone in the neighborhood, including all the neighbor's pets names. Most folks have at least one dog, and many have two or three. Barking dogs and crowing roosters form a back drop of sound that one no longer hears after a while as those sounds are ever present. Connie gets rides to Zumba from a neighbor and Andy shares tools and workers with guys in the neighborhood. It's a tiny town.

Sometimes the news gets twisted, like when we waited in the bank to cash a check. The regular customer rep was not there, and when C&A asked the person in front of them where Daniel was, he said, "I heard he got fired." Soon that news was passed down the line. But when Connie was cashing her check, she tactfully asked the gal about Daniel, and learned he would be back next week. She made sure, she told the fellows in line what she'd learned.

Late one afternoon while I was there, we got a call inviting us to join a bunch of neighbors at a newly opened restaurant in town. That's where I learned that Todos Santos is a tiny town in other ways too. One of the gentleman who joined us had graduated from the same high school as Andy and I. Another fellow had spent summers during his youth in Boot Jack which is where Cindy's parent's live, and he had attended the Mariposa County Fair every year throughout his teens. Another gal was from Modesto, and when she was growing up her family had cabin in Twain Harte just like my family. We knew all the same haunts, the Frost Top and the skating rink and the rock at the lake. Two people grew up in San Francisco and one in Orange County where Connie is from. The coincidences were enough for me to agree that Todos Santos is a "tiny town."

Change of Plans

2010-02-13T06:34:00.000-08:00

Cindy and I planned to go to Todos Santos for two weeks in February to hang out with the dogs while Connie and Andy came back to the states to get their kitties. But all that changed.

Turns out the kitties bonded with Nora, the housesitter in California, so there was no compelling need to go get them, so Connie and Andy decided they would go camping since we were coming anyway. Then Heidi got VERY ill, and they weren't sure she was going to pull through. Meanwhile a bad cat mauled Ebby, and she was at the vet for a few days, and our normal cat sitter was not going to be able to watch our kitties while we were gone.

Though we had two excellent offers from animal lovers who were willing to watch the cats, we did not think Ebby could handle a stranger giving her medicine and taking her back to the vet to have the wound cleaned. Also, the bad cat was still hanging around, so Cindy canceled her plane reservation (now we had a big vet bill AND forfeited air fare).

Down in Todos Santos, Heidi was making a nice recovery, so Connie and Andy were going to be able to go camping after all, and Blossom would go with them. After my arrival and orientation, Heidi and I bid them farewell as they headed northeast to camp, kayak, and snorkel on the Sea of Cortez. Well, I waved good bye. Heidi hung her head in sorrow.

The first day was iffy. She wouldn't go for a walk with me; she jumped up and stood at the door at the slightest noise thinking they had returned, and then she vomited her dinner after which she went upstairs to her bed and would not come down. We are talking about a VERY old, large dog here, slightly senile and quite frail. I did not want her to get sick, or worse, on my watch. The 2nd day was better, but she is still making regular visits to the yard to stare longingly at the other car and the gate. She's waiting. Such incredible devotion.

I have just one question: Who is in charge here? The people or the pets?

SURPRISE!

2010-02-01T06:43:00.001-08:00

Cindy's dad, Fred Dixon, recently turned 80!
WHOA!
Eighty!
8-0!
That's a lot of years!

So the family threw a Surprise Party. Despite all kinds of commotion in the days before the party, Fred never caught on. And when he walked through the door of the Clubhouse at Rawhide Mobile Home Park, he was totally suprised. His first expression said, "What the . . . ?" And then he broke into a wonderful smile as he recognized family from far and wide grinning back at him.

He circled the room greeting people, hugging them and shaking hands until he got half way round the room to face his brother Cliff who came from Kentucky for the party with his daughter, Sissy, and granddaughter Audrey. SURPRISE!
Next, he met his sister Barbara who came from Chicago with her daughter, Loretta. SUPRISE!
Sister Rosie was there also with a big group from Southern California. SURPRISE! The siblings had a great time catching up and cutting up!

The entire family enjoyed visiting as they ate sandwiches and salads, played ping pong, poker, and horsehoes. The cousins had has much catching up to do as the elders, especially when Cindy's mom brought in boxes of photo albums she had prepared for virtually every member of the family. She had gone through ALL of her pictures and labeled them and placed them in albums to give to each person. All across the room people were oohing and aahing and reminiscing.

Eventually it was time for cake and ice cream. Cindy had ordered a special cake with a photo of Fred panning for gold and there was also a cake in the shape of the number 80.

Near the end of the party, Cindy presented her Dad with a money tree to which Fred said with a twinkle in his eye, "I think I'll water it and see if it grows!"

It was a spectacular day of reunion and celebration. Spending 80 years on this planet is definitely worth celebrating. Congratulations Fred!

More Skiing

2010-01-29T13:23:00.001-08:00

Leon and Aliou particularly enjoy skiing backwards.

Clare wanted to be part of the action and paid close attention to how Mary Autumn rose to her feet after a fall, i.e with Dearma's help.

The power of the snowplow.

Ski Party

2010-01-29T07:45:00.000-08:00

Spectacular weather on the heels of the great snowfall last week, made for one terrific skiing birthday party at Dodge Ridge. Everyone was in high spirits, eager and cooperative, which made equipping 7 Tippett kids and a Harrelson a quick and easy task.

The four younger boys --Athan, Leon, Aliou and cousin Kyle-- took a 2-hour lesson in the morning which made them ALL ski-worthy in no time. Meanwhile, Michael skied first with Mary Autumn and then with his older children--August, Anna Mae, and Gianna as well as some of the Little Red Schoolhouse contingency who were on the hill yesterday. Back at the lodge, JL, Cindy, and I got the birthday party ready on the deck in the beautiful sunshine. Clare poked around entertaining folks who were coming and going with a congenial "Hi!" Cindy snapped pictures of anyone we spotted skiing on nearby hills using her long range lens.

Soon a bunch of hungry kids started trickling in. Once they were fed, we sang happy birthday to first Leon and then Aliou, who wore their birthday crowns with pride and clearly enjoyed having a ski trip birthday.

Papa and August were tardy to the party, but just in time for Mama to don Papa's ski pants and equipment and take off skiing with the children who were rushing from the deck party to get back on the slopes. Once suited up, JL headed for the rope tow and then skied across to Chair 2 with Athan and the rest of boys. A fifteen year lapse since she last skied had not cramped her style one bit. She shushed right into the swing of things. After a zig-zagging decent down Chair 2 with Athan, she met August and Anna Mae in line at Chair 3 with Leon and Aliou following and begging to go to. "Sure," she said and soon half of the Tippett family was settled in swinging chairs to climb the face of the mountain. We didn't see them again for over an hour. (If you click on the pictures below, you can see JL and Athan crossing the hill, and five Tippetts in two chairs--Mae & Aliou in the 1st chair, JL, August, & Leon in the 2nd.)

This prefect mid-week ski excursion and the ease with which my daughter took to the slopes made me think I could ski again. Uncle John, are you there? Can you get Dearma back on the hill?

Prose Poem

2010-01-27T14:00:00.000-08:00

During our recent redecoration of the guest bathroom, the toilet sat in the living room for several days, calling to mind Russell Edson's prose poem, "With Sincerest Regrets."

Like a white snail the toilet slides into the living room demanding to be loved.

It is impossible, and we tender our sincerest regrets.

In the book of the heart there is no mention made of plumbing.

And though we have spent our intimacy many times with you, you belong to an unfortunate reference, which we would rather not embrace . . .

The toilet slides out of the living room like a white snail, flushing with grief . . .

Plenty of Time

2010-01-23T09:47:00.000-08:00

When I volunteered to drive Huck and Nell to the Oakland airport, I allowed myself plenty of time to get there for the 1:30 pm check-in. After dropping a work project off at the Junction, I made my way up Phoenix Lake Road, driving first through rain, then sleet, and finally softly falling snowflakes. My Subaru negotiated Belleview Road fine. Culley loaded the kids and their baggage in the car, and we were on our way before 9am

Huck and Nell are veteran travelers and great in the car. They took turns listening to stories on the iPod. Huck skillfully set up the story that Nell wanted to hear when it was her turn. The child who was not listening chatted with me. We got to Tracy where we made a pit stop. We all used the rest room and stretched our legs before getting back in the car for the last leg of the journey. It was 10:30.

As we came down off the Altamont Pass, traffic slowed to a crawl and then to a complete standstill. About that time, I got a text from Andrea, saying she was on BART after taxiing around SFO for an hour, but she was sure she would be in Oakland on time. I texted back that we were stuck in traffic in Livermore.

Forty-five minutes later, we had gone less than a mile, so I called Cindy and asked her to see if she could find out what was going on. Using the Internet, she discovered that a big rig had overturned near Livermore, effectively closing all four lanes. The advice was to take an alternate route. But how could I do that when there weren't any off ramps and I was surrounded by green hills where cows were peacefully grazing oblivious to my plight? Every time one of the lanes started moving, Nell suggested, "Why don't you get in that line, Dearma?" The kids made a game of shouting at the trucks and cars to get moving, and though it didn't work, it was entertaining.

At 1pm, we finally crawled past the scattered debris from the big rig, plus a burnt out hull of a van and gathered speed. It was raining pretty hard and I needed a rest-room again, but time was of the essence. I drove fast (for me). By the time I hit 880, it was imperative that I stop for a bathroom. I took the first exit, saying, "I have to go to the bathroom. I'm feeling sick!"

"How can you get sick because you have to go to the bathroom?" asked Huck.

Good question! But my legs were trembling violently and I had a raging headache. I was sick! Maybe toxins were leaking back into my blood stream from my kidneys. I don't know. I just had to get to a bathroom. "Look for a restroom, you guys," I said.

"Try that dress shop, Dearma," said Huck. I pulled into a parking place and waddled into the store, but the clerk was immune to my desperation and directed me across the shopping center parking lot to a Starbucks.

When I got back in the car, Huck said, "That's weird. People always have bathrooms where they work."

At Starbucks, I begged to go in front of a woman who just going into the bathroom, and she graciously let me. While I was relieving my bladder, Andrea called. I told her what was happening and said I thought I was close to the Airport. I left the bathroom still buttoning my pants and ran for the car on firm legs, the headache GONE!

"Now I have to get back on the freeway," I said as I started the car.

"It's that way," said Huck helpfully, pointing back the way we'd come.

I could only turn right out of the parking lot, which was the wrong way, so I immediately flipped a U-turn around a cement divider and sailed into a left turn lane squeaking through the signal as it turned red.

"Now you have to go that way," said Nell pointing right. She knew what she was talking about because a half block later there was a sign for the on-ramp to the freeway. I thought the Airport exit was coming up, but I had not seen any signs yet. Then suddenly there it was: "Oakland International Airport-1 mile."

"Put all your stuff in your bags, kids," I directed. "And grab your coats. When we get there, Mommy is going to get you out and you will have to run to catch the plane."

I drove the Airport ingress road at 70 miles an hour through the pouring rain, scanning signs for Terminal 1- United. "Look for your mommy," I shouted.

"There she is," yelled Huck!

I pulled over and leaped out to get the luggage from the back as Andrea got the kids. "Can you wait and see if we make it?" she asked.

"Yes," I said as they disappeared through the door, Nell running as fast as she could while hiking up her drooping jeans.

That's when I remembered that the kids' passports were in my coat pocket. I yanked on the passenger door. Locked! I ran around to the driver's side, reached across and pulled them from my coat and ran after Andrea, leaving the car running, lights on and windshield wipers slapping. I could see her half way up the sloping runway on her way to the security station. I yelled, "Andrea! Andrea!" She heard me on the second call, and I waved the passports. We ran toward each other. I passed them off and then turned and ran back to my car, where a green and black vested parking Nazi stood frowning at my car. I got in, my heart pounding and breath ragged, and pulled away as the attendant honked her obnoxious horn at me.

I drove the departure circle 3 times at a leisurely pace, scanning the United door each time I passed. As I came around the fourth time, my phone chimed. "We made it!" read the text message.

A big smile! I moved over to the freeway access lanes, and as I left the airport, a second chime came through. "Thanks, Mom!" wrote Culley.

Can I just say that Huck and Nell are simply amazing: cooperative, patient, helpful, and smart. I will always have plenty of time for them.

Storm: January 2010

2010-01-19T08:23:00.001-08:00

Two power failures in as many days. The second of two storms rushing in over New Melones Reservoir and two more forecast as coming this way. Radio says this is the most rain in a one week period since 2005.

A ski trip planned for 4 grand-kids canceled due to high winds at Dodge Ridge. Hail so big and intense we thought the metal awnings would be scarred for life. Two cats, who are totally insane whenever it rains, giving us all kinds of grief. A rush of water pouring in over the kitchen window, causing paint to pucker and sag.

But we are nevertheless grateful to get a good deal of water on our parched state and some beautiful photographs on Cindy's camera.

Knitting

2010-01-17T10:33:00.000-08:00

After watching Andrea knit several gifts for people, including cute little socks for Juniper, I was inspired to learn to knit. I inquired about classes at the local yarn shop, By Hand Yarn, and learned that an ultra beginner class was being offered the second Saturday in January. After writing "Learn to Knit" on my 2010 goals, I emailed Anna Mae to see if she wanted to go with me. I hate going new places by myself and knew that Anna Mae is generally eager to try anything new, so I thought she would make a good companion. She emailed back in a matter of minutes, saying, "Yes!" So I signed us up.

We got there more than an half hour early, and it was a good thing because the teacher said it was the largest beginner class she had ever taught. I guess others made learning to knit a new year's resolution too. Our teacher Candice helped us select yarn and needles. We took our seats at the table, and she cast on the first row for us and then quickly showed us how to do the basic knit stitch. By the time other members of the class arrived, we were already knitting a second row.

Anna Mae zoomed along, knitting a loose relaxed stitch and chatting with the other women at our table. Meanwhile, I sat in deep concentration knitting tight, uniformed stitches that I counted at the end of each row to ensure that I still had the requisite 25 stitches. The teacher stopped by periodically to offer encouragement and suggestions. By the end of class, we were both immensely satisfied with our progress and envisioning future projects. I saw myself making 30 or 40 scarves, and Anna Mae was already in the throes of designing knit dresses for Clare and herself.

Time will tell how we do, but I can happily report that I sat knitting before bed last night, while my tea steeped this morning, and also later in the car when I got to meditation before the hall was unlocked. I'm making headway with my little scarf and getting a tad bit more relaxed with my stitch. Maybe someday I'll look and feel the part of a knitting grandmother

Homeschool

2010-01-14T07:38:00.000-08:00

Getting back to homeschool this week after the seasonal break underscored the simple pleasures in this occupation. How many grandmother/tutors have the privilege of enjoying:

a seven-year-old gnawing a chicken leg at second breakfast while doing phonogram drills?
the burgeoning vocabulary of 18-month-old, sitting happily at the schoolroom table repeating sounds and words from her older brother's phonics lesson as she marks a paper with her pencil?
a fashion show-- in between geography and Latin lessons--of the new clothes a grand-daughter acquired at Plato's over the weekend?
the song of parakeets joining the conversations and questions regarding various and disparate lessons: "Dearma, how do you make an uppercase cursive K?" "Dearma, do you know about librevox?" "Dearma, remember those maze books you used to bring?" "Dearma, what am I supposed to do here? Translate the Latin to English or change the person?"
the Ah Ha of a child who suddenly sees/hears the relationship between 2 sounds?
the careful and deliberate penmanship of a 4th grader mastering cursive?
a phone call from a 9th grader making a date for help with a research paper?
that same 9th grader remembering the Citation Machine used in a previous lesson, more than year before, to construct a bibliography?

. . . all of this against a constant backdrop of joyful noise: children clamoring to tell about a recent event in their lives.

My life's work has been entrenched in the laboratory of learning and homeschool is a glorious opportunity to continue doing something I love.

Hopping

2010-01-08T17:33:00.000-08:00

We interrupted our routine at Wallys to go hopping. At least that's what Cindy called it. First, we hopped among stores: trying on clothes at Marshalls, purusing the Dollar Store, choosing new shower curtain and towels at Bed, Bath & Beyond for the bathroom Becky is painting while we are gone; and going to Penney's which carries our favorite underwear brand (since the closing of Mervyns and Gottschalks at home, we had been able to replace the ratty things accumulating in our drawers).

Then we went for a late lunch at Applebee's. From there we hopped to the movie theater for an early show: Invictus. The last time we came to Wally's, we saw Morgan Freeman in The Bucket List. We were happy to see him again this time. He made a superb Nelson Mandella. The movie was wonderful in weepy, happy kind of way.

Then we hopped back the Applebees for dessert. Chocolate Lava Cake! Our FAVE!! While we were there we decided to go back to the theater to see The Blind Side. It was a cute movie with a parallel theme to Invictus and also based on a true story.

On the way back to Wally's, we talked about how popular true stories are in the movies these days, just like non-fiction books and I guess reality TV. We also realized it was the first time either of us had done a double feature at the theater in a VERY long time.

Vacations offer lots of room for spontaneous hopping from place to place. FUN for sure!

How We Play

2010-01-07T09:48:00.001-08:00

We have fallen into a sweet little routine over here in Nevada. I get up early each morning and go for a long walk before heading to water aerobics while Cindy sleeps in. After breakfast, we do a little sightseeing in the nearby town of Genoa or over in Minden. We come back to the condo for lunch, after which I take a nap and Cindy goes to one of the small local casinos. (Lady Luck accompanies her; once again she's won enough to pay for our vacation.) After my nap, I do some writing until she comes back and we fix dinner. Our evenings have two parts. First, we work on a memorial project that we are doing for Ashley. Then we click on our little gas fireplace and curl up to read for a few hours. After I fall asleep, Cindy has a little bowl of ice cream and checks her email.

The next day it starts all over.

High Desert

2010-01-05T09:38:00.000-08:00

Being on the high desert east of the Sierra in January is a sensual feast: the quiet, the ever changing light, the cold crisp air, the soft wash of color, the texture of brush and bare-limbed trees, the steaming hot springs, the sulphur- laden air, the bird-filled marsh, and a nearly full moon. I'm taking it all in, filling my spirit with beauty and peace.

Walking. Writing. Reading. Resting.

Surely absorbing such beauty will buffer my immune system and ready me for the rest of my life.

There is more to the season . . .

2010-01-02T06:23:00.000-08:00

For many years, I struggled with the commercialism around Christmas, wishing I could find a way to circumvent the hype and overspending. Instead of improving the situation, I found that my angst about it seemed to make me at best a reluctant participant and at worst a grouch, bordering on curmudgeon.

But this year something shifted. Maybe it's been coming on for years under the influence of Cindy who loves Christmas and who I now see grasped a deeper meaning than I could muster. She loves to GIVE! And she loves to spend time with friends and family. For some reason, I fully absorbed her attitude this year, and we have enjoyed a full month of "Christmas" --wonderful times with family and the deep satisfaction of giving--not only carefully conceived and chosen gifts, but also homebaked cookies and lots of hugs.

This year, I enjoyed my grandchildren's anticipation and pleasure upon opening their gifts at our party. I enjoyed sharing a meal with friends. I enjoyed watching Cindy's delight in spending time with her family, especially her parents. I truly enjoyed the sight of her handing out gifts in her new Tweety pajamas and plaid scarf on Christmas morning, and I enjoyed the bedlam in the afternoon when everyone was passing out and opening gifts.

And I admit, I enjoyed receiving too. When you wish for something and then open a package and the wished for thing sits in your hands! WHOA! It does feel GREAT!

I get it! That's what the giving part of the season is about: fullfilling wishes and witnessing pleasure.

Unusual Stars

2009-12-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

During the week before Christmas, I've been blessed by the appearance of many unusual stars. First there were the three stars who performed in a play at the Chapel in the Pines --a funny and joyful adaptation of the Christmas story called "The Unusual Star." This delightful performance turned on the love and made my eyes see unusual stars everywhere. The first star-- who I might have otherwise missed-- was stagehand Cody working in the dark to rearrange sets for the play in which his three siblings were performing.

Then there was the neighbor who came when called and who managed to finally straighten the tree!

It wasn't hard to miss this happy bass player! But what was unusual about this star was the joy he so clearly finds when playing music.

There is also the wonder of color-coordination: this Papa with his baby's bottom are truly star material!

Little yogini Nell shines under the bright tutelage of yoga star brother John.

And all week I've been enjoying the aroma of baking cookies. Cindy is--without a doubt-- the Christmas Cookie Queen. She brings sweetness and light to the holiday every single year with hundreds of cookies. She is a most unusual star!

Merry Christmas to all!

Christmas with Cousins

2009-12-22T08:15:00.001-08:00

The best thing about the family Christmas gathering, other than celebrating with my wonderful children and their families, was watching the cousins play together.

(Athan is a rising pool shark who devoted considerable time at the table)

Christmas with cousins filled me with the same joy that Clare seemed to feel when handed her first Christmas stocking.

The party was definitely a success. I know because Anna Mae wrote a fabulous summary on her blog. Check it out!

Gianna & the Nutcracker

2009-12-19T08:25:00.000-08:00

One of my life goals is to take each of my granddaughters to the Nutcracker ballet in San Francisco. This year Gianna accompanied me! She even wore a dress for the occasion, not her favorite garment. She looked lovely and her mom had curled her hair a beautiful pageboy, a style reminiscent of my youth.

The three hour drive to SF whizzed by as she sat in the back seat, eating pistachios and playing hangman on my iPhone (thank you Aunt Jenny and Kyle for suggesting I download this application). We stopped at Trader Joes and bought sushi for lunch, and she ate all 6 pieces and the ginger, exclaiming her pleasure.

We were a little behind schedule, so we really had to rush to get to the Opera Hall after parking in the Civic Center garage. But we made it in plenty of time. I thought I had purchased tickets for seats one level below the balcony, but as it turned out we were on the ground floor level with the stage. What a suprise!

Gianna has an eye for detail and the things she noticed say a lot about her. She said she liked being at a level where she could watch the dancers's feet. In the dance of the snowflakes, she said, "Dearma, do you see the muscles in their backs?" She commented on the lead male dancer by saying, "The reason his legs are so big is because they are muscular." She asked questions about the sets. "How do you think they move?" "Do you think they are made of metal?" She was also quite the observer of people, for instance, pointing out folks who wore jeans or very high heels.

After the ballet, we went to Max's for dinner where she ordered pasta with butter and parmesan cheese. She loved the hot rolls, which she said tasted just like Uncle Culley's fresh bread. The ride home was long--rush hour traffic and then fog-- but she was wonderfully patient. We talked about her trip to North Carolina and New York and about St. Nicholas Days from the past and she played more hangman. In Oakdale, we stopped at Cold Stone where she ordered cotton candy ice cream with gummy bears. In her words, "I'm sure glad we stopped there!"

When we got back in the car, she read the clock on the dash and said, "It's 8 o'clock. That's my bed time." And she promptly fell asleep. That's Gianna & the Nutcracker! A fine memory for sure.

No Cabin Fever Here!

2009-12-10T10:37:00.000-08:00

Despite the drawbacks of snow at lower elevations, such as the crushing weight upon the oleander hedge that I have clutivated to be tall and graceful

and getting soaking wet trying to free the hedge from ice and snow,

and the belated rescue of tender geraniums from the unaccoustmed cold,

I am thoroughly enjoying staying at home to avoid the mess out there on the roads. No cabin fever yet, in part I'm sure to the Internet. I love my never-ending connection to others via email, Facebook, Bloglines, and Meehive.

And then there is snuggling under a blanket with a cup of hot tea and reading. I've read two books of poetry, Alison Luterman's See How We Almost Fly and Kay Ryan's Say Uncle, plus a daily dose from the Complete Works of Emily Dickinson. I read one full murder mystery by Kathy Reichs and started a second by Ellen Hart and I'm making my way through This Child Will be Great, a biography of Liberia's President Ellen SirLeaf. More snuggling to watch TV! One night, we watched 3 hours of the first season of ER compliments of Netflix, and we are keeping up with our regular programming too.

I've also done some work . . . finishing one freelance project and making a dent in another. We've gone for a walk everyday, albeit shorter than usual, and I've made muffins and addressed Christmas cards and taken care of some phone business that has been languishing on my to-do list. Today, I'm baking bread.

No cabin fever yet . . . wonder how long it will take before I want to go somewhere? Could be next spring.

It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas

2009-12-08T07:59:00.000-08:00

Quite unintentionally, I've found myself launched into the Christmas season.

It all started on Friday when I accompanied the Tippetts to a program at the Gallo Center: "An Irish Christmas!" Thinking I was going simply as an extra pair of hands to help with the children, I wasn't expecting to be utterly delighted by the program of Irish musicians on accordion, violin, drum, and some kind of bagpipe like horn. Three female vocalist sang Christmas songs right into my heart, and the Irish dancers pounded the wooden stage with irresistible rhythm. The kids were rapt for an hour and so was I.

Saturday started with Mary Autumn's birthday brunch, where we all feasted on a delicious frozen dish made by August, frozen bananas made creamy by pushing them through the juicer and then topping them with chocolate sauce or in my case Nutella. The kids were giddy with anticipation, thinking about putting their boots out at bedtime in preparation for St. Nicholas Day on Sunday. I heard that they had trouble going to sleep and were peaking through cracks in the wooden framing upstairs in the hope of catching a glimpse of St. Nick.

Sunday was the Advent Spiral at the Waldorf School. We waited, shivering despite heavy coats, hats, and gloves for admission to the darkened room at the appointed hour of 4pm. The room was warm and packed with parents and grandparents who sang Christmas carols softly as each child walked the spiral to the center, tipped their candle for lighting, and then made the return trip out to place their light on the spiral. You couldn't miss Huckle's clear, high voice singing "Away in the Manger," and when it was his turn, he moved briskly for this was his 2nd year walking the spiral. Nell was more tentative holding Miss Beth's hand as she walked and looking out into the audience to see where Mom and Dad might be. Once her candle was lit, she gained confidence for the return trip.

Monday morning it started snowing in Jamestown at 7:10 and didn't stop until after 10. It was so cold that the snow did not melt, so we spent a most unusual day for our low elevation in a winter wonderland. We drank a lot of hot tea and I made muffins and we kept the radio tuned to KVML all day, listening to road reports and Christmas music, while we worked on our gift lists, did some online ordering, and then began addressing envelopes for our cards. And of course we took a walk in the snow.

I like having Christmas sneak up on my like this. It feels all warm and tingly and real.

And now she's 5

2009-12-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

Mary Autumn was reluctant to enter the world. Not only did she come days past her due date, but her birth vigil was the longest and the most strenuous of labors for Jennie Lou. Little did we know that she was giving us a peek at her personality: tentative though quietly strong willed. Her abiding affection and closeness with Mama is another thing she wanted us to know about her. That was the message in her birth story and suddenly she is 5. Here are some pictures that show the beautiful Mary Autumn.

Patricia's iPhone

2009-12-03T07:31:00.000-08:00

This is my new iPhone! As a friend on Facebook writes: "Beware of buying a phone that is smarter than you." I'm still not sure what it's doing in my bag.

I started toying with the idea of getting an iPhone several months ago. When I posted the thought on Facebook, I got 20+ comments from folks who said "Go for it!" IPhone users love them.

Then Cindy's Blackberry died, so she got the iPhone. We could only afford one, and I had to face the fact that she uses her phone WAY more than I use mine. I really didn't mind. In truth, I was a little afraid to get something quite so racy. We agreed that I could get one in December when we expected to have a little extra cash. In the meantime, I helped her figure out some of the basics on her iPhone, and then the novelty wore off and the surge of "wanting" faded away.

But my iPhone was on the list of things to get with the extra money in December, so Cindy set December 2nd as the date to go to AT&T. I woke yesterday with a bit of trepidation. "Why," I thought, "do I need an iPhone?" But it was too late. Cindy was in motion and we were going. She even got up early, so we could be there when the doors opened.

An hour later, I was walking out of the store with my new phone, not sure whether to laugh or cry. I got into my car and the Mirimba ring sounded. I fumbled for my bag, found the phone, and tapped the screen.

"Hi," said Cindy. "I wanted to be your first call! Are you excited?"

Well, I'm not sure if that's the word I'd use, but I sat in my car outside the ATT shop and played with my new phone for awhile. First, I called JL to confirm some plans for later in the day. Then I called up my email, and there was a message from Culley that I replied to. "Whoa," I thought. "This is pretty cool."

By the time I got home, I was stoked. I downloaded some applications and got the correct software so I could take pictures with my phone. I'm on a roll. Oh, and I put some iPhone accessories on my Christmas list.

The Camera Doesn't Lie

2009-12-01T08:24:00.001-08:00

All my life, I've been fairly photogenic. So I have to believe the camera lens which is now telling me that I'm a chunky, thin-haired, dew-lapped grandma. Go figure! (Click on the pictures for the whole truth.)

The Chocolate Fountain

2009-11-28T08:06:00.000-08:00

Owning a chocolate fountain may not top the list of useful kitchen appliances, but when it comes to being the hit of a party, there is nothing like it. Adults grab forks as quickly as the children, reaching over the little ones to get a coating of chocolate on a strawberry, marshmallow, or piece of pound cake. See little William tucked just below Bonnie's elbow on the left of this picture? The little guy was in awe of this sweet machine and his fork worked as fast and furiously as any adult's.

The Chocolate Fountain has become a major attraction of our parties at the Rawhide Mobile Home Park Clubhouse. A few weeks ago, Andrea arranged to use the clubhouse for childcare while Waldorf parents worked on setting up the fall festival a few miles away. Accustom to the appearance of the chocolate fountain when he comes to the clubhouse, Huckleberry announced its eminent arrival to the children in attendance. What a sad thing to have to tell him that there would be no spilling chocolate that day.

Most of the year, the chocolate fountain sits in a box on a shelf in a dark corner of the pantry, but on party days it moves into the limelight: celebrated and adored! It's next appearance will be at a family Christmas party on December 20.

Saurkraut

2009-11-27T07:28:00.000-08:00

Since I was a child, saurkraut has always been a side dish at Thanksgiving dinner. The dish came to our family from my paternal grandmother, Mary Kamak. We think of it as a Polish dish, but in truth the method of preparation is common throughout Eastern Europe. My mother learned to make the dish from my grandmother (her mother-in-law), and I learned from my mother. This year, I passed the tradition on by guiding Athan in the preparation of saurkraut. He chopped and sauted the onion. Rinsed the saurkraut. Released the flavor of caraway seeds in the hot skillet and then combined all three into the savory dish. I hope that the scent of roasting caraway seeds will someday remind him of Thangskgiving.

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-26T08:06:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for all the opportunities I have to watch young minds growing and learning:

August doing 10th grade science, history, and literature in online courses;
Cody heading off to do the last part of 8th grade with 5 amazing young fellows;
Anna Mae becoming an adept user of the Internet, blogging, emailing, and discovering;
Taylor's unique and amusing writing voice;
Gianna's new found independence in managing school assignments;
Kyle's astounding vocabulary and repertoire of little known facts;
Candice & Athan as emergent readers;
Leon's meticulous care with penmanship;
Aliou's rapid mastery of phonograms;
Huckleberry's stylistic and intricate drawing;
Mary Autumn's fascination and concentration with workbooks;
Nell's notorious narrative imagination;
Clare's assumption that she too is a student of phonics, rhetoric, and script.

And last but not least, I was privileged to offer instruction as JL cooked her first turkey, 16 years into marriage. Can't wait to find out how it turned out.

May your feast be fabulous. Gassho!

Disconnected

2009-11-25T10:23:00.000-08:00

For seven days we were without Internet service. What an eye-opening experience. The last time I went for an extended time without Internet was when I was at a writer's retreat for a month in Northern Minnesota. I only got online once at the library during the whole month. While we were in Mexico, we did not have Internet at our living quarters, but nearby coffee shops had free wireless access, and it was fun to spend time online in these outdoor cafes munching delicious food prepared by others and sipping caffeinated drinks. We even had Internet service on our Alaskan cruise, albeit expensive service, but a means by which to connect daily to the world!

So seven days without service brought up a lot of stuff, most significantly the habit of mind I've acquired related to being connected to a world wide web. The impulse to get online arises frequently all day long, most obviously in terms of checking email and Facebook, but also for dozens of other reasons as well:

My betta fish is sick, so I head to the computer to look up sick betta. Whoa, not possible. I need to do billing for my freelance business. Oops! Online accounting service is not accessible. I'm going to an unfamiliar location in Modesto. No Map Quest. I can't get to my online class or review my grandson's essay for his literature class to email to him in time for class the next day. I'm writing a "Get Well" card and realize I'm not sure of the spelling of a word. Normally, I'd head for the online dictionary. Nope have to lug out the heavy weight Merriam Webster hardback.

Unable to get online at home, we grabbed laptops and headed for places with Internet access. Starbucks was the first destination! What a zoo. First, there are many steps involved in getting a Starbucks account, including buying a product card with at least $5 and then navigating the account application before actually getting to "free" wifi. Then there is contending with helpful patrons who want to continue the conversation AFTER you are finally happily online and only want to focus on the 200+ email in your inbox. Then there is the piped in music (not my preferred genre) and the surrounding young adult conversations and the guy trying to sell someone life insurance. The library was an option only if we stayed in our car because they were closed for the week, but we had one low battery so that didn't last long. We headed to relatives and got slightly caught up on the most important tasks in our online lives, but this involved 30 minutes of driving both ways. SIGH! We were frustrated to say the least. We just wanted our cozy connection at home.

The upside?? Well, there was one. I got all kinds of chores done: all the hand-washing, putting away spring/summer clothes and organizing closets and drawers, more yard work than I've done in the last 3 months, lots of handwritten notes I've been meaning to do, and I read three books. (I read all the time, but the Internet definitely competes with reading time.)

We are back online thanks to the patient perseverance of the techs at Mother Lode Internet who had to troubleshoot problems both with their tower and our hardware. The moral of the story? After a week of being disconnected, we've decided to reserve one full day a month for being off line and one day a week during which we can check in for an hour but must refrain from all other access. We want to maintain our practice in being disconnected.

In Memorium

2009-11-09T15:19:00.000-08:00

So often when you make a new friend it's a package deal. In other words, by extension you become friends with the person's entire family. That's how it was when 34, years ago, I met Chris Ferroni.

Grammy was part of the clan . . . not a Ferroni, for she was Eileen Potter, but she was someone I came to know along with my new friend Chris. I can't remember exactly when I met Grammy. It may have been at one of the kids' birthday parties or perhaps at the lake or maybe at a nursery school open house. I just know that from early on I followed the happenings in her life right along with the rest of the family, especially the big ones, like the losses of her husband, her son, and her sister, and the fire at her house.

After Chris and the kids left the community, I'd run into Grammy at Twain Harte Market, and she would pass on some tidbit of news about the friend I sorely missed. When I attended All Saints Church for a while, we often stood in the parking lot to visit after church. Then when Andrea and Culley moved back to the area, I saw Grammy more frequently at family gatherings, birthdays, and Thanksgiving.

One of my favorite recent memories of Grammy was at music night when she and Fred Gehl would sit on the couch and eat dinner together. Grammy couldn't hear well and Fred didn't remember much, but they both still knew how to flirt. Watching them made me feel fortunate to have that generation represented at family events.

Grammy died on Sunday, October 25. I'll miss her presence. I'll miss sitting beside her in a room filled with noisy people, enunciating carefully so she could hear what I was saying as I repeated some part of a conversation that had sailed past her. I'll miss having an elder who always dressed smartly and made up her face for a party or for the lake. I'm glad she was part of the package when I met the Ferronis.

Rest in peace, Grammy.

Coincidence

2009-10-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

Isn't coincidence a fascinating thing?

Yesterday was my son's birthday, Oct 29 and I had a doctor appointment to get the results of biopsy of two small growths on my thyroid. As I sat in the waiting room, I recalled another visit to the same doctor EXACTLY nine years before on my son's birthday, when I was told that a strange rash on one of my breasts could be cancer. Happily, both instances of possible cancer were NOT the dread disease!

Today, is the birthday of Cindy's best friend Becky. I just read on Facebook that today is also the birthday of Cindy's sister's best friend, Gina!

Like I said, coincidence is fascinating!

Lucky Date Night

2009-10-24T19:49:00.000-07:00

This week for date night, we decided to take advantage of a coupon that Cindy had recieved in the mail for two free dinners at Blackoak Casino. When we arrived, Cindy presented her coupon and got a complimentary scratcher which she immediately scratched to discover that she had won $500.

Obviously we were happy diners. We chose to sit at the sports bar with all the guys watching college football rather than wait 50 minutes for a table. The place was packed because of the dinner promotional. We sipped our drinks while waiting for our meals and fantasized about where we would live if we didn't have a million reasons why we would never leave where we do live. The impetus for this conversation was all the college towns playing across the big screen over the bar making us think about places across the country.

On the way home, we stopped at Blockbuster to pick up the movie that our friend Becky chose for her birthday celebration dinner at our house tomorrow. When I stepped to the counter, the clerk said, "I have this left over free coupon, so your movie is free tonight."

Guess the stars were aligned in our favor tonight. All in all it was fun and different and definitely lucky date night.

And so . . .

2009-10-22T06:28:00.000-07:00

It is true that Facebook is usurping Twilightme. It's just so easy to jot off a line or two on FB a couple times of day. But I'm sad. I don't want my blog to be overtaken by that easy floozy FB. Twilightme deserves better; more of my time, and quality time at that, for that is her strength--being a descriptive chronicle of my days. So I'm turning over a new leaf. I will give her much more attention from now on and just to let her know that I actually learned something from FB, here are a few one or two liners about what I could have been posting had I not given in to a FB infatuation. And I'm dressing up the post with a few pictures too.

When Nell spent the night, she was little Miss Independence, managing all of her self-care--teethbrushing, hair brushing, and dressing. She also made great use of a little copper teapot that I had picked up for her play with in the yard, filling it with flowers and leaves and building a little stove to brew her tea from a brick and the top of a solar yard light.
It takes an hour and a half to get to Indian Grinding Rock State Park, enough time for Kyle and Candice to thoroughly entertain me with their engaging and lively chatter: Kyle spouting off numerous arcane facts and Candice mananging order in the back seat and pointing out landmarks of note along the way. They were both well versed in Native American history and provided intelligent commentary on the artifacts we encountered in the museum and during our hike through the park.
I've went to SFO twice this month: once for a Research & Planning Conference with my colleagues from Columbia College and then a week later to pick up Kenny who was flying in from NYC. On both trips, the south bay shimmered beneath the arrival and departure of plane after plane, always an arresting sight.
At home, we had the first storm of the season with an accompanying 23 hour power outage which forced me to lounge around reading a murder mystery and gave Cindy time to read Kenny's first screenplay. Thankfully it wasn't too cold, so we were fine without heat.
Finally, Cindy and I continue to scurry here and there between work and family commitments, always juggling the things we love and sometimes complaining about being tired.

Autumnal Chores

2009-09-27T10:25:00.001-07:00

We dove into autumnal chores the past few days with gusto!

First, I borrowed my son's pick-up and enlisted my grandson's help to pick up 2 yards of decorative bark that I won at the Waldorf School acution last spring. Friday was the last day to redeem my coupon for the bark, and that deadline is what kicked off the chore-filled weekend. Two yards of bark is a lot, and I'm so happy to have had Cody's help or it would have taken me DAYS to unload and situate the groundcover. I shoveled enough to have one heck of a back ache, but it was only 1/10 of the work done by Cody. The bark is all in place and will greatly reduce the weeding next spring, another back-breaking job.

Meanwhile, Cindy got started on cleaning out the shed, a project we thought about all summer but put off to wait for cooler weather. (As it turned out, it was 100 degrees on Saturday when we finished the job.) Cindy's methods of reorganization and cleaning are comprehensive and detailed. Any such project ALWAYS begins with removing EVERYTHING from the area, cleaning thorougly, and then replacing things in an orderly fashion. What I bring to such projects is the ruthless disposal of all extraneous items--defined as anything that has not been used in the past year! This is a compromise: we allow these compulsive needs to coexist--and the results are dramatic!

On Saturday, while Cindy continued emptying and cleaning the shed, neighbor Becky and I cleaned the rain gutters. This is the thankless job of removing accumulated debris that has fallen from the oak trees (leaves, acorns, dirt) and lodged in the gutters. We have to do it at least twice a year or we have waterfalls streaming from the awnings when it rains. Becky worked from the roof using the blower while I dug with a gloved hand into gutters to remove clumps of gooey mess.

Three hours later, I joined Cindy to haul several boxes of stuff removed from the shed to the hazardous waste disposal event (another reason we chose this weekend for the shed chore). After dropping the material at Cal Sierra recycle center, we fortified ourselves with ice cream sundaes at Baskin Robbins before heading home to finish the shed. It was dark by the time we finished the job, and we were both moving very stiffly, but the shed is certainly spiffy as are the gutters and the flower beds. Today will definitely be a day of rest.

For the Love of Books

2009-09-27T10:08:00.001-07:00

I recently had the pleasure of spending two hours in the library with Kyle. He diligently completed his schoolwork, a writing assignment, so that he could move on to the fun part: locating, purusing, and checking out books. He is gettng quite skillful at looking for books on the computer data base, jotting down the call number, and then looking for the book in the stacks. When you watch a child learn all the steps necessary to finding books in the library, you really get an idea of how many different skills are required.

Kyle's tastes are varied which makes him a reader after my own heart. I sat in the children's section reading a magazine while he hunted for books, brought each selection to me, and explained its appeal and then went off to find another. He chose some old favorites, found a mystery chapter book, and a book about Star Wars. Once he had a nice little stack, he asked to go look at the movie section in the adult part of the library, so I carried his stack of books over there along with my magazine, and he disappeared into the movie aisle. A little while later he emerged with 3 videos just as hs mom arrived to pick him up. I hugged him goodbye at the circulation desk where he had pulled his library card from his back pocket in preparation for checking out the books.

The next day when I saw him, he was already on chapter 8 in the mystery. The boy loves to read!

Forest Lawn

2009-09-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

During my time with Cindy, I've been to a number of funerals, many of which took place at Forest Lawn in Cypress. This past weekend, we attended her Aunt Joanne's funeral in the little white chapel at the cemetery. The blue casket was set against the backdrop of a lovely stained glass window. I first visited this chapel in 2000 for the funeral of Cindy's Uncle's partner. That's when I met most of Cindy's extended family who live in Orange County. The family has both grown and diminished in the 10 years since, with many births as well as deaths. In fact, a baby shower was scheduled for Cindy's second cousin Brittany's first baby several hours after the funeral service, and many of the family headed that way after visiting for a while outside the chapel.

Another rather large group, however, traipsed all over the cemetery at Forest Lawn as the Dixons visited graves and cleaned headstones. Small children ran and laughed while bigger kids were charged with filling containers with water for the flowers that were placed on the various graves. A plastic bag with towels, brushes, and cleaning materials was carried from grave to grave where adults scoured the copper headstones. Everyone went to every grave. At Cindy's grandfather's grave, Fred told the amazing story of his arrival in the US from England at age 14, as well as an hilarious story about the time he sold horse manure in a box as cake to an unknowing party. It was hot, and we were dripping with sweat, so slowly folks began to emerge from their cars in shorts and tank tops having changed out of black funeral duds while driving from site to site through the sprawling cemetery.

Sometime along the way, we got a screw embedded in one of our brand new tires, and it was going flat, so when we left the cemetery, we located a nearby automotive place on Cindy's GPS and drove straight there. The tire could not be fixed because the screw was in the side wall, so we put the spare on and will use the bad tire should we get another flat before we get home. Since we were in the middle of a neighborhood where Cindy once lived, we spent some time driving the nearby streets as she pointed out a few of her old haunts: the laundromat, the bar, the route to work, and the house, or rather the spot where she had lived because the house had been torn down and a new duplex stood there. Many changes had taken place in the neighborhood, offering yet another comment about the passage of time.

Then we headed to the reception for the funeral in Fontana. We spent over an hour in traffic on the 91 as did most of the guests. It was pretty late when we got there, but there was still plenty of food and lots of folks doing all the reminiscing that usually goes on at such events. The family had displayed many of Aunt Joanne's beautiful handicrafts-- quilts, crocheted afghans, poodle skirts and other wonderful garments. About 10pm, we drove up the 60 to Ontario where we had reserved a motel room. See how I'm referring to the highways by numbers? That's what everyone does down here.

Today, we will drive home on the 99! We are listening to a J.A. Jance mystery on an audiobook which will definitely make the drive pass by easier, but sitting in a car for 8 hours nevertheless takes its toll. We are both ready to be home and back to our normal routine. As busy as it is, it's preferable to long road trips. Though one gift the Dixon family has given me is a more full bodied respect for family and the traditions that mark passages.

Sky

2009-09-14T06:54:00.001-07:00

On Saturday, I sat on the front patio and watched big black thunderheads roll in from the west. After years of living in the forest, the huge expanse of sky over my new home never ceases to delight me. I was captivated by the sky on Saturday and sat for more than an hour watching the play of light over the meadow. The meadow is another feature of my neighbor that makes me love where I live. Though I love the new spring green, my favorite season for the meadow is right now when the grass is tall and golden and wafts the scent of tar weed with the slightest breeze. I love the spaciousness of the land and sky around my home, and I love the majestic blue oak that sits in the middle of the meadow. It is all the tree I need. Perch for falcon and hummingbird alike, it is gorgeous in its summer dress of flickering blue-green or stripped of leaves in winter stretching thick dark branches in glorious symmetry. Here is picture that captures the natural beauty of where I live (click on the picture to get the full effect.) See the sky!

Traffic Jam

2009-09-09T06:32:00.001-07:00

On Labor Day, I got caught in a traffic jam--thousands of people leaving the Sierra after the 3 day weekend. It took me more than an hour to get from East Sonora to my turnoff at Rawhide Road in Jamestown. I had no water and no food; it was after noon and I hadn't eaten since 7am. As I inched along listening to Radio Lab on NPR, feeling light headed and terribly out of sorts, it occurred to me that my life of late (and some would say long) has been one big traffic jam.

I haven't blogged for weeks because I haven't sat down long enough to even download the pictures from my event-filled life. I write blogs in my head as I take my morning walk or as I drive from one happening to another. Sitting in traffic on Labor Day, the blogs piled up in a long stream of slowly moving words and pictures. Here are a few images from that stream:

My writing retreat at the Dardanelles Resort, a highly productive time doused with a dozen reasons why I'll never go there again: ancient tilting cabin under which skunks lived all winter; the constant hum of a huge generator, critters invading the kitchen at night to munch on anything left out and knock dishes and pans at 2am.

Huckleberry's 6th birthday party at Brentwood Lake with tons of kids and friends and family. When I looked at his adorable smile with 3 missing teeth, it seemed like only yesterday that Emee and I went to Portland to meet him shortly after his birth and she put him a wagon, burrito-wrapped, for a photo.

The start of the new school year, including my first day tutoring language arts for the Tippetts, (phonics to 10th grade Lit) and opening ceremonies at Waldorf where Huck, Nell, and Opal are all in the same class.

Juggling freelance work (play reviews, newsletters, business blogs) with fixing the gushing drip system, helping Cindy re-situate her newly painted office, mowing the lawn, driving Cindy with her broken ankle to jobs, and shopping in Modesto.

Remembering Ashley and the 2 year anniversary of her death; researching a rose to buy and plant as a memorial and choosing a beautiful JFK--gorgeous many-petaled white rose.

Heading to a quasi-Dixon family reunion where Cindy spent time with the 2 boy cousins she hung out with as a kid and we all traipsed enmasse to the Mariposa County Fair to ride rides and dance to the music.

A caravan trip to Angel Falls where the clan fanned out across the rocks, climbing, climbing, climbing, laughing and enjoying the idyllic wonder of the place and finally patiently posing for a group photo taken by 10 snapping cameras.

Yes my life is a traffic jam of momentous events. The main lesson: make sure you have water and food!

Office Re-Org

2009-08-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

Cindy broke her toe in June and her ankle in July. Not surprisingly, she was down in the dumps by August, having worn strange foot devices all summer that prevented driving, swimming, or even walking very well. On a particularly bad day, I asked her if there was something we could do to make her feel a little better.

"I want to re-arrange my office," she said.

Well that seemed pretty easy. I could help her move the furniture around, but then she added that she wanted to do a deep cleaning. Well OK, but I was working out of the house a lot, so she would have to do small things and then I could help with the bigger tasks when I got home.

She dove in with gusto and soon the living room was filling with piles of stuff as she cleared off book cases and started dusting and vacuuming. Then when I came home last Wednesday after working all day at the college followed by 2 hours with my writers group, she greeted me with, "I want to paint my office."

I was tired; I was cranky; I did not meet her excitement with anything like enthusiasm, but after a good night's sleep I rallied. By that time, she had enlisted Becky to help, but she nevertheless accepted my belated offer to assist.
We emptied the office of furniture, all but the desk, and spent the weekend painting. By Monday night, we were moving furniture on location and hooking up the electronics. The room looks great and Cindy is the happiest I've seen her since she was throwing money on me in our state room on the trip to Alaska.

Here are some pictures of her sunny, deeply cleaned, reorganized, freshly painted office:

Water Park Day

2009-08-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

Take 4 kids, ages 9, 7, 6 and 4. Add one more 4 year old plus her 20 something dad and go to the Water Park. You will play HARD for 7 hours! Here are the pictures to prove it.

The photographer for most of these pictures was Cindy who was in a cast and couldn't make her way up to the BIG slides where we slid down flumes and vortexes, so there are no pictures of that madcap fun, but I think these pictures show what a blast we had. You can click on the pictures to make them bigger and see whose who. The person in aqua who is underwater is Gianna. And the body underwater behind me and Nell in the inner tube is Huckle. We all spent a lot time underwater!

Approaching Fall

2009-08-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

The buckeye have turned rusty and crackling. Poison oak is turning too. The meadow grass is platinum blond with dark green tufts of tarweed starting to poke through. Blood red dragonflies skim over the surface of the waving grass. Today on my walk, I saw a squirrel hefting a huge pine cone up the trunk of a leaning tree.

Summer has more than a month left, but these are signs of the approaching fall. The parents of school age children are getting ready for a new semester. Some public schools start tomorrow though my grandkids won't crack their books until after Labor Day. With the start of school, I'll begin participating in homeschool and teaching a computer access class at the college. Julia and I are hoping for a late fall launch for The Right Sisters. My freelance assignments are piling up. So much to do as fall pushes it's way into summer.

My Boddhisattva work sits as a backdrop to what I see and what I do. We've been doing a six-week study on the inevitability of death. The meditations are fierce, tender, and sublime. Every morning I sit for a half hour with the certainty of death. I get up from my cushion, feeling the closeness of death breathing quietly behind me. I try to stay present to what is worthy of my attention; what I'm willing to live and die for.

I cannot know what tomorrow will bring; I only know that nothing stays the same.

Downhill with My Grandsons

2009-08-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

When I arrived at Raleigh's at 6am on Sunday, August's bike was upturned in the center of the living room and my son and grandson were were working on the chain that had broken the night before. They were surrounded by laughing family, 3 dogs, and a cat. Michael was on the couch drinking coffee with his new puppy Stella in his lap. Candice was cooing to the puppy, and Jenny was sitting nearby with her cup of coffee. Libby was whining from her kennel, eager to be part of the happy scene in the living room where deaf ole Blue had free rein. It was early morning in a Harrelson household, and I happily joined the fray, enjoying the familiarity of my family who rise early, excited about the new day.

Once the chain was repaired, all the activity moved outside, so Raleigh and the boys could hook up the bike rack to Cindy's truck and load up. August, Cody, and I were going to the John Fisher Downhill Bicycle race at Miami Creek OVH Park in Oakhurst. The 2-hour drive was "sweet," to use the boy's lingo. The ride was also filled with a vocabulary I didn't know-- bike stuff, like hardtail, forks, and rhythm patterns. I was a happy driver. Their non-stop conversation served as a backdrop to the beauty of the foothills outside of Coulterville. which sported a plant I don't remember seeing before: beautiful yellow flowers on a low-lying bush, obviously something that opens in the early morning hours and closes up later in the heat of the day.

This day was blooming into quite a fine time. We were among the first to arrive at the Kamook staging area. The boys were anxious to practice the course, which they did again and again and again, with me picking them up at the bottom and shutting them back to the top. Eventually the race shuttle arrived, and I took a breather. After about 12 runs each, they stopped to eat and drink before the race actually started.

There were two timed runs. I situated myself to take videos (which I'm going to try to post later). I cheered with other parents at the bottom of the first leg of the first run. For the second run, I hiked down the course and sat in a manzanita grove taking videos at a section that had several jumps. My video camera is new and my skills are limited, but I got short clips of both boys as well as everyone else because I never knew when they were coming. Riders start at one minute intervals.

It was a terrific day. My grandsons know how to play hard and they are refreshingly polite as well as generous and witty . . . not every grandma gets to hear tasteful jokes from her 14 and 15 year old grandsons. I feel blessed to be in the company of these smart, congenial young men.

Pictured below:
The scene in Raleigh's driveway at 6am;
August suiting up for his practice runs;
The boys after the first timed race, coming to get water & food;
Cody with his medal for first place in the hardtail category,

Ahhh--The Water

2009-08-06T09:09:00.001-07:00

During our vacation to Alaska, I was acutely conscious of my attachment to the earth and things that grow: trees, grasses, shrubs, moss. Yes, I love the earth, but then there is the water.

Ahh, the water!

Being near water nourishes my spirit. The sound of a stream gurgling or a river thrashing or meandering is a musical offering. A long stretch of lake water is a feast to my eyes: smooth or undulating, rippling or sparkling in a play of light.

Add the pleasure of good company and the opportunity to slip into the molten green liquid of a reservoir, and the only response is a long SIGH!

And dessert. Rushing across the surface of a lake in a high powered boat, wind in my face, clouds pirouetting above foothills.

SIGH! SIGH!

My Writing Comrades

2009-08-01T07:03:00.001-07:00

This wonderful group of women is having a glorious time in Mendocino at a sweet little writing conference. We are working with seasoned novelists and poets, discovering all kinds of new things about our craft. We are also talking non-stop at meal time and as we walk from our motel to the conference site. Last night, we read at the Open Mic, splashing Fort Bragg with a Sonora presence. We walked out of the reading, patting each other on the back and feeling quite accomplished. One more day of camaraderie, with a gala dinner and keynote speaker tonight at Hill Top Inn in Mendocino looking over the Pacific Ocean. I'm fortunate, indeed, to have these wonderful women as my comrades in writing.

Writing Retreat-Fort Bragg

2009-07-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a break. I've been writing since 6:30 this morning. Actually, I've been writing for 3 days from 6:30am to 10pm. My back and shoulders will tell you this is a bad idea. My brain and imagination will say it is glorious.

Here are some pictures of my little retreat site:
The table with my laptop where I am working;
The window I peer out when I can't think of the right word (though sometimes I look up and truly can't remember where I am because I've been so lost in the lives of the inventors I'm writing about);
The garden at the center of the motel complex where I stroll when my back and shoulders scream so loudly my brain can't get a word in edgewise.

Tonight my writing group arrives for the conference which starts tomorrow, so I'll be switching gears in a few hours. But for now I'll take a loop around the garden then go back to writing.

(The date setting is wrong on the camera. These were taken today:)

Grandsons

2009-07-27T10:43:00.001-07:00

Friday, I went to Moaning Caverns with Cody and August. Cody rode the zipline and both boys did the climbing wall. Then we made our way down the sprial staircase deep into the cave.

Saturday was Athan's birthday. We went to Brentwood Lake with his family and the Harrelons. He enjoyed swimming with Leon, Aliou, and Kyle, but it seemed like his favorite thing was getting all wet and rolling in the sand.

I sure do love my gransons!!!

A Few More Photos

2009-07-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

From Connie's retirement party:

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-22T07:33:00.000-07:00

Kudos

2009-07-17T20:19:00.000-07:00

Cindy sent her computer in for a tune up while we were in Southern California, so we haven't downloaded the photos nor do I have access to the great photos from the first week of July, so this evening's blog will have no pictures but a lot of kudos.

Kudos to Cindy for arranging such a thrifty vacation to Southern California. She used coupons and points and terrific Internet research skills to get us the best deals possible, like $100 in free gas at Arco, a beautiful 2 bedroom suite for free at the Sheraton in Ventura right beside the harbor, and low, low rates on a hotel in Anaheim and tickets to Knotts Berry Farm. She baked chocolate chip cookies and filled ice chests with delicious sandwich fixings and lots of bottled water and Vitamin water. We had wonderful picnics at rest stops and on the beach. The girls had fruit and pop tarts for breakfast in our room. She talked the bike rental guy into a cheaper rate because it was so late in the day when we rented the bikes.

I doubt if there are very many travelers who could have the quality vacation we had for so little money; AND we came home to find some job offers on voice and email, so the downturn that our finances took last month may be taking a little turn for the better and even if that doesn't happen, I can count on Cindy to make sure we don't miss out on good times just because we are poor.

Fun Parks

2009-07-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

Allow me to weigh in on Fun Parks, for example Great America and Knotts Berry Farm. I've been to both in less than a week--Great America with Anna Mae and Kiki and Knotts with Sabrina, Brittany, and Cindy. I don't get it!!!

What's the fun of being turned upside down, whipped around, flown through the air, or spun until your legs are wobbly and your stomach is churning? There are all kinds of people standing in line to do such things. I don't get it!!!

My feet hurt and it was hot!! I sat on the ground waiting for young people on rides because there aren't enough benches for everyone who wants to sit and I kept squeezing myself into any inch of shade I could find. I went on rides that soaked me through and through and walked in wet clothes until my legs were chafed like a baby's with a wet diaper.

Tell me when it starts being fun??

When those kids say, "Thank you! That was so much fun!"

Huntington Beach

2009-07-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

I'll blog about the cram packed first week of July when I get back from Southern California (i.e. Clare's 1st birthday, Great America, jamming freelancing), but just a note about the beach for now.

You can't take the northern California girl out of me, but a Southern California beach is definitely the most redeeming quality of the lower half of my native state. There is nothing like napping on the beach with the sand carved out for every curve of one's body and a lovely breeze blowing gently across the skin. AHHH~

Then there is body surfing, of which I did not partake. but Sabrina and Brittany could not wait to take the plunge, gingerly followed by Cindy who once she was baptized by one good cold wave, hung in there for a good half hour of surfing with only 2 major wipe outs. (I waded into the surf and took pictures.)

Best of all of was bicycling along miles of paved road fronting the beach and dedicated to walkers, runners, and bicyclists. We rented those cool old fashioned bikes with upright handles and foot brakes. The coolest compliment this 61 year old woman could get came from the elderly Asian who handed us our bikes: "You look like you're pretty athletic," he said as I mounted my bicycle. Those words sent me joyfully pedaling forth on the best ride in recent memory.

As we left the beach, we stopped to watch three street performers doing break dancing. Oh my could those guys dance. Makes you wonder how such talent gets relegated to the street.

Today we go to Knotts Berry Farm . . . certain to be a different experience from the sun, sand, and surf at Huntington Beach!

Morning Routine

2009-07-05T22:39:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about the two vacations we went on in May and June was my morning routine. I got up early every morning and sipped a cup of tea while I read the Dharma. Then I meditated, followed by yoga and/or a walk. Because there was no ready computer access, I didn't feel the technology tug to which I've become addicted. This routine was deeply satisfying and I was determined to maintain the practice when I got home.

So far so good but the fallout is that I'm not blogging. I used to get up, brew the tea, and then check my email and post a blog while I sipped my tea. SIGH . . . I really miss blogging. There were so many June events that slipped by without a post: birthday trips with Taylor, Kyle, Leon & Aliou, Rex's graduation from high school, a great work day with Taylor and Cody, a wonderful Dharma week and Dokusan with Nancy, Father's Day weekend, the first time Clare was left in my care, Cindy's broken toe, the Pride Picnic, big changes in my writing group . . . and on and on.

So I really want to get back to blogging so I've decided to blog before I go to bed. The downside to this plan might be incoherence as I usually push the envelope, extending my day until I'm almost delirious and generally smashing into the wall.

But I want it all: a morning routine, a dizzily busy life, AND blogging, so if you'll excuse the typos and some possible non sequiters, this is the launch of night time blogging.

June Is Slipping Away

2009-06-26T09:00:00.001-07:00

June is slipping away and will definitely go on record as having the fewest number of blog entries since Twilightme started. However, I can't let the month pass without doing a post on this month's celebrants: Cody & Taylor.

Way back at the beginning of the month, we gathered to celebrate their birthdays in their other grandma's backyard. The setting recalled to mind Cody's first birthday which was also celebrated in this back yard. Time has flown and that little Gerber baby is now 14! He and his beautiful sister Taylor shared a cake and a place on the swing where they opened gifts. Taylor celebrated her first birthday up the street in the house where she has lived her entire 12 years. Let me offer just a few adjectives to describe these two: smart, talented, good-looking, mannerly, conversant, helpful, funny, energetic, wonderful!!!

In addition to turning 14, Cody also graduated from 8th grade this month. I'd have to say that the ceremony for his class of 6 graduating BOYS was one of the best I've ever attended. Each boy had a special role in the ceremony. Cody arranged a song and accompanied his dad on guitar as he sang. What an arresting conclusion to this sweet graduation. There was no way I could hold back tears of pride and admiration as my son and grandson performed together.

OK I cry easily . . . especially when it comes to witnessing landmarks in the life of my family.

Cruise to Alaska-Part 2

2009-06-06T07:32:00.001-07:00

Life aboard a cruise ship is completely unreal and wholly self-indulgent. I think everyone should experience it at least once. Someone makes your bed every day, not once but twice, and usually without you even knowing when! We would leave for breakfast and come back to find our bed made, fresh towels in the bathroom, and the trash emptied. In the evening, we'd return from some form of entertainment and the bed would be neatly turned down with chocolates on the pillow and the Princess Patter at the foot of the bed. The Patter was a newsletter about the next day's entertainment and activities.

There is so much to do aboard ship that days at sea simply whiz by. First and foremost is EATING. There is a buffet that is open from 6am until midnight so you can eat ANYTIME you want. There are also formal dining rooms, a hamburger stand, steak house, bistro, and ice cream shop, not to mention 5 or 6 different bars all over the ship. Cindy was in dessert heaven and the little fridge in our stateroom was always full of the delicious treats she had wanted to eat but couldn't, so she brought them back to the room for later, but of course later there were more desserts served which continually multiplied her options. I, on the other hand, was trying to figure out how to deal with the abundance of food and not gain a 1000 pounds.

I'd read in a women's magazine that one way to combat cruise over-eating was to take the stairs anytime one had to move between decks, so I often climbed 7 or 8 flights of stairs while Cindy and her mom and dad took the elevators. I also spent a lot of time in the fitness center at classes and on the treadmill. I took yoga and aerobics classes and there were also pilates and spin classes. I walked 3 laps of the promenade deck every day which was a mile and many days I did much more. I participated in the 5K Cancer Walk and earned a cap: On Deck for a Cure. We also walked a lot in ports of call and I'm happy to say that despite the fact that I totally overate EVERY day, I only gained one pound.

The entertainment aboard ship was awesome. There were huge musical productions that were the best. We chose seats down front every time to get the full effect of the incredible singers and dancers. We went to comedy shows and laughed till we cried. There were lectures on wild life and arctic ice. We went to Bingo almost every day. There were lots of things we didn't do, like the golf, dart, and suffleboard competitions. There were games going on everywhere: trivia, word and board games. There were computer classes and dance classes: line, rhumba, ball room. Nature entertained us every evening with a marvelous sunset. And there was a little Casino.

Every afternoon Cindy went to the Casino while I exercised or napped. Her luck was phenomenal. She kept winning and winning and winning. In the end, she won enough money to pay for our entire trip and then some. Her biggest pot was $2000 on a progressive slot machine game, but she also won two $500 pots and some smaller ones as well. She was passing out money to her mom and dad and her aunt. When she won the $2000, she came into the stateroom where I was napping, flipped on the light, and tossed hundred dollar bills on top of me. It was simply AMAZING!!

She was having such a great time that she even managed to get up at 6am to disembark in Victoria, our last stop where unfortunately we had a very short visit. I had hoped to go to the Butchart Gardens while we were there, but there wasn't time. However, Victoria is simply lovely and just walking in the downtown area, which is reminiscent of being in England, was a sweet experience. The rhododendrons were in bloom and there were beautiful flowers and gorgeous architecture everywhere. Pictured below is the government building with a statue of Queen Victoria in front and a handsome redwood given to the city by the state of California in celebration of its 100th anniversary.

On the last night aboard ship, we ate in the formal dining room. After dinner, the chefs and the servers paraded in to a rousing rendition of "Hot, Hot, Hot" carrying baked Alaska, another delicious dessert experience. I woke at 5am on the morning we sailed into San Francisco. A change in the sound of the engine told me we were no longer at sea. I got dressed quickly and hurried on deck. Though I missed going under the Goldent Gate Bridge, I got to watch the sun rise over the Bay Bridge--the perfect ending to a wonderful journey. Later, we sat on deck in the sun gazing at the city while we waited for our turn to disembark. It will take a few days for the wonder of our Alaska Cruise to fade as we remember how to prepare our own meals and make the bed.

Cruise to Alaska-Part 1

2009-06-05T13:25:00.000-07:00

Alaska wasn't on a list of places I wanted to see, but it was on Cindy's dad's list. So when Cindy's parents signed on for a cruise to Alaska, we decided to join them. And I'm glad we did. The trip was FABULOUS--from the spectacular scenery to the decadent life aboard a cruise ship. We only saw a tiny portion of Alaska as we traveled the Inside Passage, but it was enough to make me truly appreciate the beauty and ruggedness of the state. We took over 600 pictures so it was hard to choose a representative selection to share here. Also, I wrote nearly 100 pages in my journal chronicling all that we saw and did so the report and images here are a mere sketch of this amazing trip. I've divided it into two parts, one covering all but one of the ports we visited and the second will be about life aboard ship and our last port of call.

I knew it was going to be an amazing trip as we sailed out of San Francisco Harbor under the Golden Gate Bridge. We stood in the wind on the bow of the boat with many of our fellow 1900 passengers, where we were nearly swept away with awe. The fog, the wind, the majesty of the bridge let it be known that this would be one incredible journey.

After two days at sea (more on this later), we reached our first stop: Ketchikan--the southern most city in Alaska and the salmon capital of the world. The weather was awesome as it was for most of the trip, cool and sunny. We visited a museum, walked about town, including a boardwalk called Creek Street, and rode a funicular to the top of the mountain-side against which the town is built. At the top, we got a chance to see a "grove" of old totem poles, incredible historical relics seen all over this part of Alaska.

The next day we landed in Juneau, the capital city to which there is NO road access. The only way in is by sea or air. We visited the Mendenhall Glacier. Pictures can't do justice to the beauty of this geologic wonder, but in the one below you might be able to see the blue tone of the ice. We also visited the Tongass National Forest, riding in a four-wheel drive cart up a steep mountain road deep into the rain forest where we saw an eagle nest but not the eagle. This was when I got in touch with how attached I am to the earth and things that grow, for the forest filled me with joy and respect.

On the third day, we traveled up Tracy's Arm, a channel which is frozen in winter and where the ice was just breaking up. We could not go as far as planned because the ice was still too dense to be safe, but it was amazing to see big chunks of it in all sizes and shapes floating in the water.

Our most northerly stop was Skagway where we rode the White Pass narrow gauge railroad to the top of a 2200 foot peak that the gold miners had to cross (before there was a train) to get to Canada and the Klondike gold fields. We rode into the mist at the summit and saw the border between the US and Canada marked by flags. The views were spectacular. At one point, we could see down through the pass to where our ship was docked. I found immense satisfaction in the deeply fragrant forest of spruce, cottonwood, and birch. A storm blew in as we descended and we had to walk in fierce winds to make it back to the ship, giving us a tiny taste of the weather Alaskans deal with all winter.

As we sailed away from Skagway, Cindy and I climbed to the uppermost deck despite gale force winds to take pictures of the surrounding mountains and the pass through which we had just traveled by train. The wind took our breath away, and it was nearly impossible to walk, so we leaned on the ship's rails and marveled at the majesty of the land and the force of the weather. We had turned south towards home, but it would be four days until we would again land in California. Stay tuned for Part 2, life aboard a cruise ship.

Saving Money

2009-05-21T12:58:00.000-07:00

Last November, Cindy's mom gave us a giant smiley face bank and suggested we put $2 a day in it to save spending money for our trip to Alaska. We have never done very well at saving money so this seemed like a great idea. We didn't manage to feed it $2 every day, but we fed the face often and sometimes put in more than the requiste $2.

Today we pried the smiley face open to reveal a wonderful little nest of money for our trip which starts on Sunday. Thanks for the bank Bonnie and for the idea. We are going to put the face back together and start feeding it again. It's fun to save money!

Grinding Rock

2009-05-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

Gianna, Athan, and I went to Grinding Rock State Park in Pine Grove where we met Sandy and John who gave us a royal tour. Sandy and John are camp hosts at the park. They live in their RV and take care of the campground by day and make jewelry at night. They've been living the nomadic artist life for several years, and we had the pleasure of visiting them at their latest landing, this little known Park off of Highway 88.

They love this little State Park and have learned a lot about it in the few months that they have been its hosts. They took us on a great tour and showed us lots of marvelous sights, including the museum where Athan studied the map and chose some of the places he wanted to see. We visited the round house, called the Hung'ge, as well as the huge grinding rock with numerou petroglyphs and scurrying lizards. We saw the mother oak sitting in the center of a circle of her babies. We hiked to the environmental campground (one of Athan's choices) and we saw a bees' nest high in an oak tree. Everything was still very green with tons of wildflowers everywhere.

After lots of hiking we had lunch at Sandy's and John's campsite. We took a short walk after lunch around the campground and we each picked our favorite site should we ever come to spend the night at Grinding Rock Campground. Not surprisingly, we each had a different favorite. It would be hard to settle on a final choice but not hard to revisit Sandy, John, and this sweet little State Park.

Timers & Tippetts + Nell

2009-05-17T06:23:00.001-07:00

While Michael installed automatic timers in the garden with August's able assistance, Cindy and I played with five Tippetts and Nell and took pictures. We played in the pool, rode bikes, climbed the plum trees, tried out the new playground equipment, did dress-up, and played Parchesi. Nell painted almost everyone's toenails (she only got one foot done on Cindy before dinner). And we ate food ALL DAY! Boy OH Boy! Playing make everyone hungry!

This morning when I woke up, I heard the water spraying in my yard. YEHAW!! What a time saver this is going to be. Thank you Tippetts for a great birthday gift!!

Go Fred!!

2009-05-16T08:08:00.000-07:00

We are breathing a SIGH of relief. Cindy's dad, who was hospitlized last week with a mysterious fever, came home yesterday. He is happy to be home and completely confident that he will be on the ship next Monday when we head out on our cruise to Alaska. Go Fred! We knew you could do it!!

Token

2009-05-14T07:05:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, my dear friend Carol took me to the pet store after treating me to lunch at Diamondback for my birthday. I've had a one gallon fish tank sitting empty beside my desk since last November. The tank belonged to Ashley. I set it on an old fashioned telephone stand atop a crocheted table cover and imagined watching a fish in shimmery motion when I took pause in my writing-- a fluid meditation in honor of Ashley.

For months the tank sat with only the pump mechanism coiled inside. Carol who loves her own fish dearly agreed to take me fish shopping. She has a great relationship with the owner of the pet store and assured me that Michelle could help me choose the right fish and tell me everything I needed to know about caring for it. Finally after considerable delay, we made a date to shop after a birthday lunch.

Pictured below is Token--my lovely betta in his tiny triangular tank. He's everything I imagined and more. He swims languidly in circles-- round and round. He pulls his feathery fins in close and then lets them float wide in a delicious flutter. Sometimes when I turn to look, the tank appears empty until I spot one black eye peeking from beneath the lotus petals. I watch and wait. Slowly he glides into into full view and spreads his red-blue fins.

It's a simple pleasure, that's for sure.

Birthday Weekend

2009-05-09T05:42:00.000-07:00

We are back from our 10 days of self-indulgence and deep relaxation and starting a weekend filled with birthday celebrations. Saturday we will honor five birthdays in my family and Sunday we go to Mariposa to acknowledge May birthdays in Cindy's family. We spent our first two days home working on gifts and cards and cake baking.

Today we celebrate these people:

Anna Mae (4-25) JL's oldest daughter had strep throat on her real birthday and missed the family trip to Great America, but she's recovered now and awaiting apple pie and ice cream as her birthday "cake" today. Mae and I enjoy a special connection and can talk on the phone almost as long as her mother and I can, rarely running out of things to discuss.

Nell (5-7) Culley's daughter turned 4 and had a little girl party on her real birthday. She gave Cindy and me a complete rundown of the party and sleep-over when we picked her up from school yesterday, complete with full-on hand gestures and facial expression the told much of the story.

Patricia/Dearma (5-10) turns 61 tomorrow and her birthday gift was an incredible Mexico vacation.

Sandy (5-9) is Raymond's niece who recently migrated west with her partner John and is dearly beloved by every single grandchild and envied by me for her nomadic life, living in an RV and securing wonderful positions as camp host at local parks.

John (5-18) My little brother is turning 60 this year and he hasn't had a birthday party in 20+ years according to him.

Sunday in Mariposa we celebrate:

Sandie (5-1) Cindy's sister shares a birth month with me and our similar Taurus behaviors are often critiqued by Cindy and her Mom--in a word we are both bullheaded :)

Sabrina (5-18) Sandie's daughter and Cindy's neice, the baby of her family who excells as softball pitcher and wry humorist. This kid's wit is exceptional.

Michelle (5-18) Cindy's niece who has a tendency to screw up a lot but who has a lovable and endearing nature that makes her always huggable.

Cheryl (5-30) Married to Cindy's nephew Tommy, she is a fierce survivor who mothers her beautiful daughters with equally fierce love.

Jimmy (5-21) Cindy's brother who we are not celebrating because he is Jehovah's Wintess but who nevertheless was born in May :)

And of course we are celebrating MOTHERS on Sunday. Bless them all!

Looking forward to visiting my mom at Carter's Cemetery either today or Monday! Wonder what she would think of her hugely burgeoning family?

Our Mexico Vacation- Part 4

2009-05-05T11:14:00.000-07:00

Today is our last day under the influence of pueblo magico!

Yesterday was our biggest adventure yet as we headed out on the road to La Paz, a road under construction and pretty messy. The last 20+ km turn into a sweet four lane highway, a taste of something to come, but the section right out of Todos Santos is challenging right now to say the least.

The trip was worth it though. We chose to go to Playa Pichilingua, a beach north of La Paz on the Sea of Cortez. We got a late start and only had a couple of hours to play in the water because we planned to get back before nightfall. One reason for the late start was a quick lunch stop where Cindy had not one but two disappointing grilled cheese sandwich orders (she gave the first to me).

But our trip to the beach was wonderful! We accidentally parked ourselves on the family beach as opposed to the turista beach, but it was perfect. Little kids played in the water all around us and the boys rolled gleefully in the sand until they were covered in grit (ick) and then raced to the water. A cluster of little girls giggled as Cindy VERY slowly entered the water loudly exclaiming Ay yi yi! Chihauhau! over and over! After enjoying the water, we spent about 10 minutes in the hot sun but mostly sat beneath our umbrella listening to our audio-books and watching the families at play.

After several hours, Cindy was craving a dessert. She'd made friends with the guy at the nearby restaurant (How does she do it? Talk to people when she knows only a couple words of Spanish!) She ordered fresa y creme after I had talked her into flan which was on the menu but upon ordering not available. "Nothing can go wrong with that, right?" she asked. Well, actually YES! The fresas were frozen and the creme was clotted rather than whipped. Another sad moment in Cindy's food adventures in Mexico.

When we left the beach, we drove past what Cindy thought was a small market selling tee-shirts. She pulled over and trotted down to see if they had one she liked. It turned out the shirts were some guy's laundry drying. He was willing to sell her a shirt which would have made a unique souvenir, but she declined and retreated red-faced. This gal keeps me forever amused!

It wasn't long before I was laughing again as Highway 11 dumped us onto a flashy waterfront road in La Paz. First, Cindy spotted a Thrifty drugstore advertising ice cream and then APPLEBEES. Her dessert woes were over! We made our way into Applebees crusted with salt and sand (Everyone else was clearly dressed for dinner). Cindy ordered the Triple Chocolate Lava Cake--her favorite.

Meanwhile, I asked the waitperson to help me read the map. He brought two spoons and I helped Cindy eat her dessert, and we were soon on our way again. The young man's directions were good to a point, but there are almost no signs to help travelers in Mexico, and we missed the 2nd jog to Highway 1. Stopping for dessert and getting lost meant there was no way we would get home before dark, especially since we were still in need of gas. At the gas station, the attendant pointed out that we had no gas cap. He sold us one for 50 pesos and told me that the turn off to Todos Santos was 22 KM ahead.

OK, so my anxiety was high especially since I always drive at night because of Cindy's horrible night vision. She, however, is the authorized driver of the rental car, so we put all our efforts into team work to make it across the rugged road construction area in the dark: her hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road.

We made it home to our DARK house where I was dispatched to enter, turn on ALL the lights, and conduct a quick bug sighting. Sure enough there was big spider crawling across the great room. I put a dust pan in his path and he conveniently crawled right on so I could take him outdoors.

That was our big adventure in Mexico~

Pictured below:
PH blogging at D'licias;
The half built house on the lot next to C&A's. We learned that taxes are lower if there is building on a lot EVEN if it is not finished which is why there are so many partially constructed places;
CD under an umbrella on the gorgeous Playa Pichilingua;
CD at Applebees;
This morning's sunrise over Sierra de la Laguna (no Bonnie, Cindy was not up to witness this rising).

Tomorrow we begin our journey back to Tuolumne County.

Our Mexico Vacation- Part 3b

2009-05-03T12:39:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, we took an excursion: shopping and visiting beaches and eating out. I'd read about a little shop called Traditions in El Calendario that specialized in folk art. It was hard to keep a lid on spending in this shop as there were so many intriguing pieces.

Eating out with Cindy is always a challenge, but in Mexico it is absolutely hilarious. She boldly asks for what she wants and often gets something at least close, though not always. For lunch on Saturday, she thought she was ordering taquitos when in fact she ordered fajitas. The expression on her face when the food arrived was priceless.

After lunch, we headed out of town the "back way," traveling bumpy dirt roads for several miles to Point Lobos, the fishing beach. Boats were pulled up all along the beach, many harboring dogs in the shade of their bows. There were thousands of pelicans and seagulls resting on the boats and in the sand. Some of the pelicans buried their heads in red boxes filled with refuse from cleaning fish. The beach was strewn with fish heads and spines and various pieces of entrails. Aquamarine waves rolled on the white sand. A peach and turquoise shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe perched on the rocks above a freshwater lagoon. Sightseeing in Mexico is always rich with contrast.

Our next stop was the surfer beach. We parked beside a slew of SUVs and walked out toward the water where we spread our towels and donned headphones to listen to our audiobooks. It was windy and cool, but we nevertheless were not to be fooled into complacence, and thus smeared on the sunscreen. Good thing, judging by the patch on my shoulder that apparently missed being slathered and so turned crimson after only an hour. We covered up with towels and watched the surfers before going to the outdoor restaurant for a snack.

Cindy wanted dessert! I kept it simple and order fries and a beer. (I've had 3 beers since arriving in Mexico and though I have yet to finish one, the first few slugs are coldly delicious--especially with the squeeze of lime.) Cindy spent a while talking with the wait person and a few others as she tried to figure out what desserts were available. Did I mention how her relationship to food is truly hilarious outside of the United States. She eventually order something called Milk Cake, which she did not like at all but which gave us a good laugh.

It was a great day, topped off by yet another magenta-hued sunset.

This morning, I went to Dharma talk. When Cindy met me at the gate outside La Arca, the cultural center where the talk was held, she gestured to my fellow meditators and said, "These look like your kind of people!" Yep, I fit right in at this gathering.

On the patio of the cultural center there was a tiny street fair with articles for sale by a women's cooperative. Oops need to keep a check on the pocketbook when there are so many wonderful handicrafts to buy.

Sunday afternoon was spent at D'licia's, where we shared a cinnamon roll and then "The Kiss" special: scrambled eggs, mango french toast, and fresh fruit. At last a dish Cindy could truly enjoy. After checking email and blogging, what's next?

Probably a nap and then the sunset!

Our Mexico Vacation -Part 3a

2009-05-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

I'm dividing Part 3 into two parts: Part 3a pictures the events of a typical day. The sunset is always the most wondrous part of the day. In the photos below you will see a sunset, a side view of the house (look carefully and you will see Cindy waving from the roof), the ladder to the roof that I won't climb, AND the wolf spider who visited our kitchen.

The spider was the most eventful part of the day. Cindy spied it when she came in from the veranda where pale geckos were scurrying about the roof which prompted her to look up as she entered the house. There in the corner above the fridge was one gigantic wolf spider. It was late and there was nothing to do but retreat upstairs. In the morning when I came down, he was still in the same spot. I made my tea at the opposite end of the kitchen and took it outside where I did my journal writing.

When Cindy came down, she called Don who had already debugged our vacation when he entered the bodega to retrieve the TV. There were several TROPICAL roaches in there, and Cindy wasn't about to go in and help me move it into the house, so we called Don, the property manager. When we called him about the wolf spider, he graciously came right over and "exterminated." Cindy watched (to make sure wolf was dead and gone), while I retreated to the fruit tree corner of the yard so I could pretend I had nothing to do with this sentient being's death.

Afterward, we exchanged stories about wasps, tarantulas, daddy long legs, whip snakes, and rattlers we have encountered. Don is apparently the neighborhood exterminator, frequently called upon by homeowners invaded by creepy crawlers. We sure breathed a sigh of relief once the spider no longer sat in the corner of the kitchen.

Then we packed up to go to the beach: See Part 3b.

Our Mexico Vacation- Part 2

2009-05-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

We are settling into a vacation routine, not unlike our weekend routine at home: I get up early, we spend the middle of the day and early evening together, and Cindy stays up late. The notable difference is what we do during our solitary time since we don't have Internet at the house. I get up and sip tea, write in my journal and read poetry, then do yoga. Cindy spends her late evening working on a book she's been thinking about for months or out on the upper patio (bocana) listening to her audiobook in her white fleece jacket under the stars.

Mid-day is LAZY! We stroll in the neighborhood, do a little housekeeping, sun bathe, nap, and read. We went shopping down town for a while once and have walked to the mini-Mercado for milk. Every evening, we watch the sunset. I'm afraid to climb the ladder to the roof, so Cindy took pictures for me, while I watched from the second story. Yesterday, we drove to the beach for the sunset.

In the evening, we play games (I beat Cindy at Scrabble) or watch a movie on DVD. We are enjoying the true meaning of vacation: to vacate our previously over-full life in exchange for easygoing living.

Pictured below:
Cindy teasing waves.
Patricia attempting a self-timed picture on the beach when the camera fell and she lunged to stay in view;
My favorite view of the house with the bougainvillea growing over the arches of the patio;
The road in front of the house from the roof (must climb that ladder).

Our Mexico Vacation-Part 1

2009-04-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

Everything about our trip to Mexico has gone smooth as silk despite swine flu alerts and a 5.3 earthquake in Mexico City on the day we landed for a 3 hour layover.

See me below pictured wearing a blue mask in the airport. 75% of travelers and all airport staff were wearing them. Folks had masks on in San Jose del Cabo airport too. And we've seen a few in Todos Santos. Schools are closed but airports remain open, so far.

Next picture is Cindy in front of our casita at El Delfin Blanco in Playitas, east of Cabo San Lucas. We spent a wonderful evening and morning there before driving to Todos Santos. The third picture is of the Delfin grounds, a quaint stopover right by the ocean.

We have no pictures as yet of Andy and Connie's place, but it is simply gorgeous!!! Look for pictures and updates the next time we make to D'Licia's which has free wireless Internet and cinnamon rolls to die for. Cindy is in heaven.

We have some funny stories, mostly related to our almost non-existent Spanish and total confusion about pesos and one crazy car story from which muchos hombres offered to rescue us!! Don't know if I have the spelling or the choice of words correct but we are trying our best to use the language frequently.

Adios

Change of Plans

2009-04-22T06:56:00.001-07:00

On Mondays, I go to homeschool at my daughter's and my son's, but this week, one family had two sick kids and the other family was exhausted from a weekend of service. The cancellations were timely as I was over-tired and had a strained muscle in my neck from shoveling dirt on Saturday.

Last October, Cindy gave me a gift certificate for a pedicure in acknowledgment of an accomplishment that neither one of us can recall. Every few weeks since she gave me the gift, I have scheduled an appointment, only to have either me or the manicurist cancel. Once again this month, I was playing phone tag with this gal, juggling potential appointment times. Then she called on Monday morning and said, "Can you come today at 1pm?"

"Yes, indeed, I can," said I.

So now I have sparkly red toes for Mexico. AND the sudden change of plans resulted in the pleasure of a soothing foot and leg massage on a day when I really needed it!

Dokusan

2009-04-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

This is a post that I've been writing in my head for a couple of weeks . . . and it's a follow-up on my three pronged "Lenten" self-improvement experience. Remember I did the Maker's Diet (fasting), a prayer study, and a generosity practice during the six weeks of the Christian Lent.

Coincidentally (or perhaps not so), the lay Buddhist monk with whom I study (Nancy) was here during the last week of my commitment to this practice (during what is Holy Week in the Christian tradition). I wasn't able to participate in all of the services and workshops held that week, but I did meet with Nancy in Dokusan (which means going alone to the teacher). It brought my six weeks of committed practice to a satisfying close as I reviewed the experience and the outcome with my teacher.

Of course, the work never ends, but this exploratory phase has reached it's conclusion and Dokusan led me to the next door.

In review, on a practical level, I learned
1) how to eat so I never have heart burn, never feel nauseated, never fill stuffed;
2) how sugar affects me and how it's elimination has such incredibly positive effects;
3) I learned that my metta practice is a prayer of asking;
4) I learned that practicing generosity extends to myself and that opportunities to be generous abound EVERY DAY! (How did I miss this for 61 years?)

More importantly, Dokusan with Nancy renewed my effort to practice faithfully and diligently and deepened my understanding of walking a spiritual path. I recognized the next step and have already opened the way and set off . . .